Oscars 2013: The Liveblog

by admin February 25, 2013
Academy Awards 2013

9:16: Wow, they still let Jennifer Aniston attend awards shows? Careful, Channing! Her boring beige-ness will infect you for all time.

9:18: It's probably been said before, but Les Miz deserves the award for Most Costumes.

9:18: Hey, somebody saw Anna Karenina this year! Somewhere Joe Wright is whip-panning a camera in delight.

9:22: Makeup and Hairstyling is up... and it's time for a Les Miz victory at last. Poor Bilbo... his hair was too fashion-forward for Middle Earth, clearly.

9:22: Hey, a bulimia joke! And just when we were starting to like you, Seth.

9:23: Still marveling at the way Halle is pulling off what should be the ugliest dress of the night. Give the Karenina Oscar to her just for that.

9:23: A James Bond medley! Awww, remember when Pierce Brosnan was 007? Neither does he.

9:25: And it's all leading up to this... a performance of the only Bond title song anyone remembers! At least until Adele came along.

9:28: Yeah... there's no way the show is ending on time tonight. Thanks, Smash guys.

9:33: Django and Broomhilda get to hand the Live Action Short Film Oscar to a white filmmaker. Racial progress!

9:34: Specifically they hand it to Curfew which was the only English language nominee amongst the short films and also one of the worst. Starting the chant right here... Death of a Shadow wuz robbed!

9:36: Documentary Short Subject up next. We only got to see Inocente, so we have no dog in this hunt.

9:36: And Inocente wins! Phew... glad we didn't waste our time with all the others in that case.

9:37: See, Oscars? These filmmakers would actually have time to deliver their speeches if you didn't let Captain Kirk and MacFarlane talk to each other for an hour beforehand.

9:39: Liam Neeson glowers his way through a presentation for three Best Picture nominees, including the movie he almost starred in, Lincoln. Quite a comedown from Bill Clinton, eh Spielberg?

9:42: Seth MacFarlane just Wikipedia'd that Raymond Massey trivia two seconds ago backstage. That's also how he learned who Napoleon Bonaparte was.

9:44: Ben Affleck gets to introduce Documentary Feature. Because everyone agrees that what makes Argo so great is its commitment to authenticity.

9:45: Searching for Sugar Man wins, allowing mediocrity to triumph in the Documentary category yet again.

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