Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
0-8-4

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Couch Baron: B | 248 USERS: B
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Full Of Sound And Fury, Signifying Something You'll Never Hear The End Of

In the aforementioned cargo hold, the group is sitting with the hands apparently manacled behind their backs while Fitz is lamenting never having learned kung fu, and I can't not hear Sterling Archer's voice in response: "The Dane Cook of martial arts?" Simmons and Ward similarly self-flagellate while Skye wonders what happened to May and her mad ninja skillz, which Fitz and Simmons apparently know nothing about. They turn to Ward, who tells them May is The Cavalry, and that means something to them -- and then May, who's been lying apparently unconscious next to them out of view until now, grits that she told Ward never to call him that. Heh. Simmons eagerly asks how they can get out of there, and May wearily sits up and tells them the doors are out -- with the plane in lockdown, they're bolted and tied to the pressurization lines. "You two geniuses have nothing?" Fitz says it's hard to concentrate with so much pressure, but Ward tells him he doesn't have to come up with the whole solution and looks to Skye for approval, and it's bad enough that they're making their escape so on the nose with respect to the "Yay, teamwork!" idea, but to actually make it textual is laughable. Whedon resolutions aren't usually so straightforward; I hope this is an aberration. (I'm not counting the plane; I doubt that's going to stick. Plot developments aside, you don't ditch an elaborate set like this after only two episodes.)

Back with Coulson, we're getting more of the "let's hear the villain's evil plan" in the grand tradition of Scooby-Doo as Coulson is like, you knew this was a weapon all along, didn't you, and Camilla amusedly admits it but says she had to play nice since S.H.I.E.L.D. got to it first. She goes on that her country commissioned it decades ago; after the fall of Hydra, many Nazi scientists relocated to this side of the world, which makes Coulson realize that Fitz's comment about the design looking German was actually spot-on; the weapon was lost in a jungle clash -- until today. Not sure why, then, Simmons thought it had been in the rock for centuries, but I suppose it was based on faulty or at least limited information; regardless, Camilla's looking pretty pleased with herself, but what she doesn't realize is that Coulson is surreptitiously working on the ropes binding his wrists to the support pole behind him. Coulson tries to tell her that her little sphere of influence is going to be meaningless if the aliens invade again, and I hope he's just trying to distract her because I'm pretty sure she's bored with his speechifying already.

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Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

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