Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
F.Z.Z.T.

Episode Report Card
admin: A- | 154 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
I Sing The Body Electric
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

In Wrigley, PA, around a campfire, a teenaged scout is attempting to frighten his charges with tales of "The Crying Man," when their accompanying adult pipes up that you can sometimes still hear him if you're quiet -- but then he blows up the teen's spot by whining in a rather Gilbert Gottfried-esque way, which breaks the kids' tension. If that story was scaring them up to that point, they could use some toughening up -- some camp stories I heard at that age still chill me to this day -- so I suppose the upcoming events have a silver lining. The adult, however, changes his irreverent tune when he claims to hear a humming sound; he goes to investigate, and apparently everyone present has seen a woods-horror movie before from their "THIS IS HOW IT STARTS" expressions. The teenager tries to distract them with s'mores, but just then a metal can beside him floats into the air, after which they hear a wail from nearby that sounds less like The Crying Man and more like The In The Process Of Being Dismembered Man. The teenager doesn't hesitate in rushing the kids to their truck just ahead of a bolt of electricity striking the campground, but nothing further ensues, so the teenager uncertainly opens the door and calls, "Mr. Cross?" There's no reply, so he takes the kids (questionable, but leaving them alone would be cruel) to investigate, and they don't get far before they find their unfortunate scoutmaster lying suspended in midair and apparently quite dead, with residual electricity still crackling around him. After the teenager stares in disbelief, we go to the title card, but not without two of the boys screaming in a higher pitch than Ned Flanders. I guess they at least have a reason, though.

Plane! Coulson is running on a treadmill as Simmons monitors his vital signs and pronounces them normal, adding that she'll just need to check his blood sample. He wryly says he's not a fan of being poked, and given how he died that's a pretty good line… unlike when he goes on that this examination is happening because he told his physio he was feeling "rusty" like TELL US IF HE'S A ROBOT AND MOVE ON PLEASE. (I know it's not happening until the end of sweeps at least, but it's so uninteresting, unlike -- I hope -- what will happen once he learns the truth.) Simmons replies that he's in great shape especially for "a man of your age," and because Simmons was apparently raised in a lab with a Bunsen burner for a mom she doesn't realize that Coulson might be offended by such a line. It even, might I say, comes as a shock. (Hey, if the show can indulge in silly wordplay, why can't I?)

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Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

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