Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C- | 130 USERS: B
Your Ghost

In Batesville, S.H.I.E.L.D. vehicles pull up to Hannah's house -- aren't they supposed to at least try to be stealthy? -- to find a stock TV "Go home! We don't want your kind around here!" crowd outside being blocked by local law enforcement. Boring. Coulson asks the officer in charge if he can't get them to disperse, but he tells him it's a free country, and I'd point out that they might be more likely to go if HANNAH WEREN'T STANDING OUTSIDE ON HER PORCH. Like, what is with this woman? Go inside and watch some fucking TV! Coulson has barely gotten through his intro before some idiot starts egging Hannah's house with more sterling "Get out of here!" dialogue -- if I never see this kind of clich├ęd crowd behavior on TV again, it'll be too soon -- and then a nearby police car seems to spontaneously start and drive into the crowd, and Coulson has to take a literal flying leap to save one of the morons.

While I'm up, is there an explanation for why we can't see the guy driving the car? This is classic lazy plotting; the audience at this point thinks the woman is telekinetic, so the writers play into that rather than be sure what we see on screen makes sense once we know the twist. Same thing in the store earlier -- once the guy is revealed, he's always corporeal when he's physically manipulating something in this world, so how is he getting the car to move? How did he even start it, for that matter? Anyway, some lady bleats about how "that freak" just tried to kill them, and Skye shows her steel by grabbing her arm and telling her to -- you won't believe this -- calm down! That's agent material, right there. The officer nearest to Hannah, also thinking she made the car move, points his gun at her, which I don't think is in the training manual and also might not be the correct approach if she were actually telekinetic, and Hannah gets all whiny-panicky-cry-y about how it wasn't her, so I thank May for ending this ridiculous scene by shooting Hannah with the night-night gun and announcing it's time to go.

Hilariously, we return on a shot of a sign that reads "Particle Accelerator Complex," like I guess someone's saving money on testing at the generic complex rather than the name-brand one, and then -- as drones fly every which way -- Simmons babbles about there being no principle to support telekinesis, and I know there are production blockades everywhere you turn with this ill-conceived show, but if you're not allowed to acknowledge the existence of the X-Men maybe don't make it so freaking obvious by having S.H.I.E.L.D. agents babble about how telekinesis doesn't exist? Are you also going to deny the existence of metal manipulation? Talk then turns to this one time, at S.H.I.E.L.D. camp, when Simmons got pranked and after they sigh about graduating three years early and as such not getting to play tricks on any freshmen, they realize that Skye is ripe for the prankin'.

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Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.




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