Alcatraz
Paxton Petty

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Be Mine

During the commercial break, the bomb squad arrived and set up lights and a blast wall. Tanner is down on the ground, brushing the sand away from Hauser's foot to expose the mine underneath. Hauser sure is swinging around a lot for a guy who should be standing perfectly still. He and Rebecca talk about the lyrics of the song and how he still hasn't found the "twin tree" location. When Tanner steps aside to get some supplies, Rebecca follows him. It turns out the bomb has been modified in super tricky ways. He tells her he can handle it, but he's clearly shaken.

They go back to Hauser and tell him he's going to have to step off the bomb and get behind the blast wall as quickly as possible. Hauser and Rebecca argue over whether or not she should stick around to help him, but she wins in the end. Tanner places the blade of a knife between Hauser's heel and the plunger, keeping it pressed down as he steps off. Rebecca and Hauser duck behind the wall. Tanner clips some wires and triumphantly calls out, "Got it!" Then the bomb explodes and takes the rest of his nine lives with it. Petty smirks. Hauser, having gotten his gun back at some point, goes over to him. "Couple of things," he says. "You just killed a good man, and my legs hurt." So he shoots Petty in the shin. Heh. Hauser bluffs him, saying they found all his bombs. This gets Petty to whine about his "twin tree" bomb and reveal that he planted it on Mount Sutro. Sucker! Also: Hauser maybe should have led with that move.

Flashback. Young Hauser sits behind a counter at the police department, surprised and flustered when Lucy walks up to him. He admits he hasn't found the last bomb yet, but that he's working on it. Lucy offers her help, then gets him to ask her out to dinner. They're very cute.

Present. Hauser sits at Lucy's bedside, telling her he finally found the twin tree and Petty's last bomb. Then he unhooks her from all the machinery and gathers her up in his arms. He takes her to the forest prison and to Dr. Beau's lab. Dr. Beau looks genuinely devastated to see her like this. The intervening years must have softened him up some. "You know her methods?" Hauser asks. Dr. Beau nods. "Fix her," Hauser says. And while you're at it, maybe fix the show, too? Less standing around talking and moving ploddingly from plot point to plot point? I mean, if you're in the business of making miracles, and all.

Tippi Blevins disappeared from prison 50 years ago and then mysteriously reappeared to write about this show. Email her at b_tippi@yahoo.com, or find her on Twitter.

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Alcatraz

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