Alcatraz
The Ames Brothers

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Tippi Blevins: B- | Grade It Now!
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The Legend of Hurley's Gold

A park ranger rushes a group of sightseers through a tour of Alcatraz. A big storm is coming and he jokes that he wouldn't want them to have to spend the night there. A big bald guy with a small duffel bag straggles behind the group and heads for one of the cells. As the ranger demonstrates how to slam the cell doors shut, the straggler has a flashback to his days as a prisoner.

In the mess hall, he takes a seat next to two other inmates. They're arguing about baseball or maybe cartoon animals, tossing around names like "Babe" and "Thumper." The younger of the two debaters is a fan of the latter. "Ain't that right, Pinky?" he asks the bald newcomer. Pinky says nothing. "See, my brother concurs." They tell the other inmate to get lost, but make him leave his spoon behind. The inmate panics. "Herman," he pleads with the non-Pinky brother, "you know they count the silver." They make it clear they'll put him in the infirmary if he doesn't do as he's told, so he relents. As he gets up to leave, he snits, "No one believes you're twins!" Herman bristles. "Fraternal, you moron!" It's true they don't look much alike. Herman is much smaller and of average hairiness. Once they're alone, they exposit about their plans. Pinky is wary of some Donovan character who's planning something with them. Herman doesn't trust him much, either, but he figures the rewards are worth the risk. Herman talks about how rich they'll be once they walk out of there. Young Ray Archer walks by, looking suspicious.

Present day in the Hub. The storm rages outside. Doc stares at computer screens that flicker with every crack of lightning. Who set up the crappy tech in this place? When Rebecca joins him, he says he's waiting for "Dandruff Guy." He has nicknames for all the Sub-Hub guys that Hauser won't let them interact with. What could Hauser possibly gain by not letting his own teams work together? Also, what happened to Rebecca realizing that Hauser needs her more than she needs him? Girl needs to start using her leverage. Finally, one of the security cameras picks up Dandruff Guy nosing around the main cell block. Doc says he conducts experiments up there. Doc decides to check it out for himself before Hauser shows up. The screens flicker and conveniently switch to another camera just before Pinky beats Dandruff Guy to death with some massive bolt cutters. Alas, poor Dandruff Guy; I only knew of his scalp condition.

Doc shows up in time to see someone dragging Dandruff Guy's body into a cell. A flash of lightning illuminates the perpetrator. "Pinky Ames," Doc gasps. He turns to run, but comes face to face with Herman. Alcatraz!

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Alcatraz

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