Alcatraz
The Ames Brothers

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Tippi Blevins: B- | Grade It Now!
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The Legend of Hurley's Gold

While Hauser goes through with his annoying introduction can I take a moment to mention how dumb it is for these people not to have any security? They know that some of these super-deadly criminals show up on the island. The place should be crawling with SEAL-trained guards. Or maybe just actual seals. Those things are cute, but they can be pretty tough when protecting their territory.

You know what else they could use? Emergency generators. With the storm, the place has been plunged into near-total darkness. Anyway, Rebecca calls Doc after he's been gone for a while and gets his voicemail. About that time, the monitor has cycled back around to the camera in the main cell block. Rebecca sees Dandruff Guy's abandoned equipment and no sign of Doc.

He's currently being interrogated by the Ames brothers at gunpoint. They're suspicious because he knows who they are, so he explains he's an expert on Alcatraz. He knows about their old escape attempt, but wonders how they planned to get off the island. He says he even studied their escape map, but it didn't do him much good because of all the changes that have been made since. This buys Doc some time, since they now need his help getting down into the tunnels. Doc realizes they wanted more than escape back then. He gets excited. "The gold! It's not a myth? You guys know where it is, don't you?" The dialogue... it is like bolt cutters to the head!

Flashback. Warden James and Deputy Tiller walk into a makeshift chapel, arguing about whether or not the prisoners can be saved. Tiller thinks it's a waste of time and that the prisoners only attend services to get out of their cells for an hour. James turns to Pinky, who's duded up like an enormous choirboy. Services aren't actually scheduled for that day, so why is he dressed like that? Pinky confirms to James that he's not there for the "scenery," but admits to being more spiritual than religious. The difference? "Spirituality is for those seeking understanding. Religion is for those seeking reward." He sounds disdainful, but he's the one looking for a big stash of gold. Warden James eyes him for a while, then strips off his jacket to get down to work on his homily. Pinky sneaks the warden's big honking keys out of his jacket and then asks an Officer Donovan for a bathroom break. Hey, it's Frank Whaley! That guy used to be everywhere. Donovan and Pinky head not for the bathroom, but the kitchen. Donovan hands Pinky a small paper bag. "Watch the door," Pinky tells him. He takes two bars of soap from the bag and presses the keys into them.

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Alcatraz

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