The Ames Brothers

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Tippi Blevins: B- | Grade It Now!
The Legend of Hurley's Gold

Flashback. The brothers make their way to a heavy door in one of the island's tunnels. It's not the door that leads to that "subterranean visitant." The brothers realize that the keys they have are all wrong for these locks. They also realize they're not alone: Warden James, Tiller and Ray Archer have come up in the tunnel behind them. The brothers find themselves staring down three gun barrels. James commends them on the complexity of their plans. "You dipped your pens into the inkwell of daring and creativity! Only one problem--you stole the wrong keys." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the unimpressive-looking keys they should have stolen. Tiller looks a little confused himself as he takes the brothers back to their cells. "Congratulations, officer," James says to Archer. "You just stopped one of Alcatraz's most daring escape attempts!" Ray scoffs. "Sir, it's obvious they were only interested in getting behind that door." How were they planning to get the gold off the island? Warden James continues to insist that their goal was escape. Ray finally gives in. Warden James invites him to dinner that night. Don't order the steak!

Later. Ray visits his brother Tommy in the infirmary. Tommy looks pretty weak. "I'm in," Ray says. "Warden James invited me to his residence." Ray promises to find out what they're doing to Tommy.

Oh, hey -- Doc is still in peril. Somehow managed to forget that. Rebecca offers the treasure hunters a deal: "We know where the gold is. My partner will open the dungeon for you, but only if you let him go." Pinky would rather fight, so he has it out with Rebecca. She manages to get away. Donovan warns Pinky against going after her. "It's what she wants," he says. Pinky's too hell-bent on revenge to care. He chases after Rebecca. She lost her gun at some point during the fight, so she lures Pinky into a cell block and then drops some big, metallic thing on his head from the walkway above. Cartoon style, baby.

Doc leads Donovan to the Hub. Why wasn't Hauser there, waiting to shoot and/or apprehend him? Doc points out a hallway that he says leads to the dungeon. Donovan knocks him out. Rebecca comes running and sees his prone form. "Oh, my God, Duck!" Doc assures her he's (mostly) all right and sends her after Donovan.

Donovan gets to the vault doors. He places explosives around the locks. Hauser sneaks up behind him. "That'll be enough of that," he says, gun at the ready and head titled at an annoying Horatio Caine angle. Turns out, Hauser was curious to see where Donovan was going. Asshole risked Doc's life to satisfy a curiosity. Asshole. Donovan blasts open the door. The explosion throws both him and Hauser to the ground. Hope you enjoy the raging tinnitus. Donovan gets back up, but finds the vault empty. Rebecca catches up to him. "Drop it," she says when he points his gun at her. He doesn't comply. "I have had a really bad night," Rebecca says, "so I'm not gonna tell you again. Drop it!" One, you did just tell him again. Two, you had a pretty good night. You know who had a "really bad" night? Dandruff Guy. Donovan, defeated, drops the gun.

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