Previously on Alias: Vaughn died. Yeah, some other shit happened, but who really cares?
Oh, fine. Vaughn told us his name was really André Michaux and that his dad changed their name to Vaughn back in the old days because they were in danger of being killed because Daddy Michaux was secretly involved with some stupid Rambaldi-esque project called Prophet Five, and it was some genetic experiment or some such shit, and Vaughn and Syd stole the actual Prophet Five book or something and then Syd discovered she was pregnant and she wanted to name the baby "Phlebitis" or "Coccyx" or something equally lame, and Vaughn went to deliver the Prophet Five book to some dude who doesn't matter because he's dead now and Vaughn got shot a quadrillion times and survived and then died and Michael Vartan laughed and laughed and laughed and then Sydney went off to London to look for Élodie Bouchez and I fell off my chair and whacked my head against the hardwood floor for about three hours because that was more fun than actually watching the episode itself.
We pick up precisely where we left off, with Syd at a seedy London pub and Élodie wearing a hideous red fright wig that really does nothing for her Gallic complexion. It's four months after Vaughn's death. Élodie (I refuse to call her "Renée Rienne" because that's the dumbest name I've ever heard) tells Syd that it's no accident Syd found her in that pub because the people who killed Vaughn own the place. She says that there's an operation center in the back that she hasn't been able to gain access to yet, but judging by the way some paunchy guy in the corner is staring at them, Syd just blew her cover. Actually, I think it's Syd's terrifying Betty Boop wig that's blown her cover, but whatever.
Élodie tells Syd to walk out. Syd's all, what, and leave you and your wig to get all the attention? I don't think so. Élodie says that she didn't spend three months in the place just to walk out the door empty-handed. She's going to head to the back and access the organization's servers in order to get a window into their operation. Syd says she's coming with her. Élodie grabs her gun and hides it with a bar towel. They make their way to the back.
At the door to the back room, Élodie weakly threatens the guard there and he's all, "Oi! Sexy! I'm being threatened by a waif and a pregnant chick, eh?" Élodie kicks his ass, and Syd slaps his hand on the code panel next to the door to gain access. The dudes inside shoot first and don't bother asking questions and Élodie wisely puts the "Oi!" guard in front of her so he gets shot. One of the dudes inside hits a BIG RED BUTTON (because, really, shouldn't every secret lair have a BIG RED BUTTON?) and an alarm goes off and Élodie starts shooting everything within a three-foot radius. She and Syd attempt to access the computers, but Syd and her disastrous cowhide-patterned muumuu top inform Élodie that the data's being destroyed. They can't stop it. Much the same way I can't stop drinking every alcoholic beverage ever created in South Carolina RIGHT THIS MINUTE.