Alias
Alias

Episode Report Card
Erin: C- | 469 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
No. The title really does mean nothing.

"Go ahead and shoot me," says Syd. "But if you do, there's a damn good chance my hand will slip and cut this connection." DMG looks down, and damned if she doesn't have a knife poised over the (fake) niridium connection tube to the container. Syd's all, dude, apparently this half-dead guy is important to you, so it'd be a shame if something happened to him. DMG sweatily tells her to step away from the container. Syd's all, uh, no, if that's okay with you. Back up on the Lido Deck, Weiss and Dix are exchanging bullets willy-nilly with the bad guys. Honestly. They're on A PLANE that's IN THE AIR. Are bullets really a good choice right about now? Okay, so, maybe the laws of PHYSICS don't apply to this show at fucking ALL.

Shoot shoot shoot. Bullets bullets bullets. No random windows getting busted, no cabin depressurization happening. Just…battle. Weiss goes after one of the henchmen himself and a fight ensues. Way to let Weiss kick ass on his LAST EPISODE. Back with Syd and the Way Too Talky DMG. "You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into," he says. Repeat the entire (fake) dialogue from the Amstel Light Warehouse of Useless Interrogation Scenes. Syd says, "I'll ask you once, and if you don't answer me, I will cut this." We get a shot of her knife on the tube. "Who is Dean working with? Who gave the order to kill Michael Vaughn?" "Even if I told you," says DMG, working the myth into overtime, "you wouldn't believe me." "Humor me," grits Syd.

Back with Weiss and his Battle of the Dumb-Asses, they're still fighting and shooting. Finally, a random series of bullets actually tears through to the cockpit and hits the pilot. The plane rocks to the side. Down in the cargo hold, DMG and Syd slide off into a corner. We get some shots of the plane itself careening out of control as Weiss continues fighting bad guys in the aisle next to the duty-free cart. Everyone's sloshing around with all the side-to-side-ness of it all, and down in the cargo hold, Syd sees DMG's gun on the floor. She makes a move for it. DMG sees this and tries to get there before she can. Too bad she's pregnant and hormonal and therefore capable of kicking him in the head.

Alias

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