Alias
A Broken Heart

Episode Report Card
Manimal: D+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Let's do the plot twist AGAIN

Conference Room. Sloane introduces the portly dude, "Anthony Russet," to Sydney. Turns out they misinterpreted the code and sent a team to Athens by mistake, where they found nothing. Instead, Sydney has to go to Malaga, Spain, to look for "el sol d'oro," the golden sun.

Spain. Church. Steeple. Where are the people? Conveniently, not at the church. Sydney enters, wearing an ungodly amount of eye make-up and a year's supply of straightening hair balm. How come she wears make-up to go spying, even when she's not at a party? She spots a golden sun in a stained glass window and detaches the small disk. This is just like the third installment of the Indiana Jones series, where Indy has to go to Venice and find clues in an old church. Man. How hot was Harrison Ford? Now he looks all wrinkly, like a human raisin, although nowhere near as wrinkly as Robert Redford, who my best friend calls Foreskin Face.

Uh oh. Here's Ana, who's got a chokehold on Sydney. They fight. Many blows are exchanged, and some gunshots, too. Ana circles Sydney with the gun and picks up the disk. They fight some more, destroying a few church artifacts in the process. They fight over an altar full of lit candles. Sydney gets the piece back. How many times have we seen this "fighting in/desecration of a holy place" scene? Oh, right -- maybe in EVERY JOHN WOO movie ever made. Sydney handcuffs Ana to the altar and walks away with the disk.

Los Angeles. Sydney's Apartment Of Awkward Confessions. Francie's staying at her place. She hasn't talked to Charlie yet. Sydney urges her to ask him what's going on. Francie says, "Have you ever spied on anyone?" Sydney looks up, afraid of what Francie might say next, but Francie interprets her expression as one of shock. She says she knows it's beneath her, but she's asked him what's wrong, and he always says everything is fine. Francie has this Valley Girl inflection to all her lines that makes me want to hire her a speech coach. Francie says that Charlie has a law review meeting tonight, and she wants to follow him. Sydney points out that spying on your boyfriend generally sets a bad relationship precedent. Good point, that. Francie says, "What if he's cheating on you?"

Sydney and Francie sitting in her Pathfinder, spying on Charlie. Wasn't this also a Felicity plotline back in season two or so? When Elena's bug-eyed alien boyfriend was cheating on her? Except back then, I think I cared. Francie is eating candy like they're at the movies. Sydney confesses that she kissed Will. Francie tells her to leave "that" alone. Just then, they see Charlie. Francie tells her to start the car. Sydney tells her that you always wait until they're at least a block away. Francie thinks it's weird Sydney knows that. Sydney says everyone knows that. Francie says she didn't know that. I agree with Francie -- I don't think everyone would know that. Charlie pulls a duffel bag out of his car trunk and goes to hug/kiss a blonde woman getting out of another car. Francie looks heartbroken. She and Sydney both look sick.

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Alias

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