Alias
A Clean Conscience

Episode Report Card
Erin: D+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
A cup of No-Doz and an espresso IV, STAT!

Previously on Alias: Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

This episode begins with two rather nefarious-looking men dicking around with a bomb. The guy who looks like a stubblier version of Christopher Lambert tells the other guy, who looks like Matthew Broderick's dirtier black sheep cousin, that he's counting on him. Dirty Broderick leaves, telling Stubbly Lambert that he'll call him when it's finished. We then head on over to the Indonesian Embassy, where Dirty Broderick is passing his bomb-filled bag through security. The guard manning the X-ray machine sees the bomb and, oddly, doesn't pull his gun and order Dirty Broderick to his knees. Instead, he just…quietly goes on his break and lets Dirty Broderick take his bag up to the visa counter. Obviously, Sneaky Security Guard is in on the game.

Dirty Broderick goes up to the counter and flirts nervously with a woman to his left. He sets down his bag and, after hesitating a moment, walks off, leaving his bomb-bag behind. The woman looks after him as if to say, "Wait! You forgot your bomb! Take me with you! I'm too young to die!" Needless to say, the bomb goes off and the building goes boom. We switch over to the Apple Store as Sloane is telling the troops that the bomb was the work of the Beograd Faction, an emerging terrorist group. This group has been good and busy these last four months, bombing the hell out of places, but they haven't claimed any ideology, nor have they made any demands. Sloane says that Langley's desperate to get intel on this group, so they placed a man on the inside, a guy named Thomas Raimes. Raimes specializes in deep undercover work and has been inside the group for the last few months, posing as a document forgery expert. He warned Langley of the impending attack on the embassy, but he never followed up on it.

Dixon looks surprised. "Hey, wait a minute," he says, "weren't you crazier than a shithouse rat just last week? And where's Clifford? And why aren't you under sedation in an undisclosed location? And where's Arvin Clone? And HOW COME NOBODY'S EVEN QUESTIONING YOUR STATE OF MIND RIGHT NOW, MR. BLOODY-FACED BATSHIT BONKERTON?" I might be channeling my own questions through Dixon. Excuse me. Apparently-Not-So-Crazy Sloane tells the troops that Raimes has missed his last four meetings with his handler, so he's either been caught or killed. Those are the only options? Before going off the radar, Raimes identified the leader of the Beograd group as Milos Kradic. Sloane brings up a picture of Milos Kradic, and it's the guy I've been calling Stubbly Lambert. But, since I like that name better, I'm going to keep calling him Stubbly Lambert. Sloane says that Stubbly has a meet set up in Amsterdam tomorrow and that Dix and Vaughn are going to run surveillance on that meet. They're supposed to neutralize Raimes and bring him in for questioning if they see him. Syd's supposed to run the operations from the Apple Store.

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Alias

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