A Free Agent

Episode Report Card
Erin: A | Grade It Now!
It's called Alias, not Ford Focus's Alias

Oh, and yes, I believe Ruprecht would fuck another guy up the ass for a Ford Focus. But then, I firmly believe that Ruprecht is a closet case with no clue.

So, Syd and Vaughn are speeding along, like, Rodeo Drive or something, trying to pretend they're in Zurich. Syd's yammering into her headphone thing to Marshall as he directs her through the traffic to Sloane. Vaughn's on his cell phone, ordering back up. In the basement of the bank, Sloane, made up to resemble a geriatric Soupy Sales, gets out of his car and greets the bank president. They make some worthless small talk, and then the prez escorts Sloaney Sales to the vault.

Back on the non-Autobahn, Syd's making with the crazy driving. Back again with Sloaney Sales, and the bank vault dude is chatting him up as they pass by a camera. Sarkie's somewhere else, and he splices into the face recognition thing or something and lets Sloaney Sales know that he passed with flying colors. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. Sarkie tells Sloaney Sales to keep Vault Guy talking while Sarkie does something somewhere else with a computer. He says something about looping the feed. Once it's looping, he tells Sloaney Sales, who whips out a gun and shoots Vault Guy in cold blood. Damn. Vault Guy was kind of cute, too. Sloaney Sales tells his team of hot French guys which box the magnetometer's in, and they go to work.

Once again with the non-Autobahn. Syd's still performing admirably as the Ford Focus spokesdriver. Dingus keeps directing her as Vaughn nervously says, "Guess it's pointless to say we should wait for backup." Durr, Vaughn. What was your first clue -- the reckless driving, or the open abandonment of all rhyme and reason? Syd peels down an alley and rips around the corner, eliciting girlish screams from Vaughn. He looks like he's gonna hurl.

Back in the vault, the magnetometer, which actually looks like a large lightsaber or something, has been freed from its jail. Sloaney Sales smiles evilly. Or, you know, as evilly as the nine layers of rubber on his face will allow.

In the main foyer of the bank, Syd and Vaughn careen in and order the bank prez to lock down the vault 'cuz he's being robbed. He brings up a video of the vault, and everything looks hunky-dory. Oh, except for Sloane looking like a member of the Polar Bear Club. Syd watches as the feed loops and announces that it's Sloane. At the same time, Sarkie's on to Vaughn and Syd, and informs Sloane that they're in the lobby, by the entrance.

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