A Free Agent

Episode Report Card
Erin: A | Grade It Now!
It's called Alias, not Ford Focus's Alias

Francinator hands Syd the phone. "Congratulations, Sydney," says Uncle Arvin, cuing The Scary Strings Of Sloane's Sadism. He snips at her about her and Jack's double agent status and shit, and she walks out onto the porch and goes OFF on him. "Listen to me, you son of a bitch," she hisses in a tightly wound rage. "You have been a plague on my life. You repulse me! Every time I sat across from you, listening to your lies, all I could do was fantasize about slashing your throat!" Heh. Excellent. Sloane just kind of raises his eyebrows and says something about forgiving her. Then he's all, yeah, okay, so I helped you with the Alliance takedown, baby. Didn't know that, huh? Syd's all, what is YOUR problem? Why are you telling me this? Sloane's all, do not come after me, punkin. You do, and I will END you. Got it? Syd just hangs up on him and runs to tell her daddy about the big bad Sloane man in the closet.

Oops Center Conference Room Of Endless Expositions. Syd fills in the boys about the phone call. She's trying to make it all about her until Kendall bursts her self-involved bubble and informs her of the Slater family kidnapping. Then he shows Syd a video of Sark and his goons shoving Slater into a van, and Spy Daddy surmises that the partnership between Sloane and Sark is alive and well and living incognito. Syd's all, but Slater's a mathematician? Why would the Dirty Duo want a mathematician? Gee. I don't know, Syd. Maybe they're having difficulty understanding the Big Bang Theory? Jack informs her that Slater specializes in something known as "knot theory." Vaughn's all, "knot" as in "tie a knot in a silk scarf and strap my girlfriend's wrists to a headboard so I can do saucy things to her naughty bits"? Jack's all, okay, I'm going to ignore that for the moment and say, "Simply put, it's the study of geometric objects and how they fit together. All Alliance facilities have been raided, yet we haven't found a single Rambaldi artifact. If Sloane was expecting our raid, he could've had everything moved to a secure location. He must be using [Slater] to help him assemble a Rambaldi device." Hey! Rambaldi's back! I thought we'd given up on that dead son of a bitch. Hi, Rambaldi! How's tricks? Still predicting shit and drawing pretty pictures? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Vaughn's all, so, like, what does that mean, exactly? Jack's all, it means Sloane's building a weapon, you hunk of burning love. Now shut up and look pretty. Syd's all, Sloane planned for this! And he's a bad man! And this is never gonna stop! Kendall takes this opportunity to remind Syd of her resignation. He slides over the form and a pen. Syd just glares at him.

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