Oh, just fucking forget it.

["Think back to the last time Windows corrupted a file for no reason and fucked your whole hard drive to hell. Yeah. THAT'S what she's talking about." -- Sars]

Back at the Ops Center, Kendall's all, your father hit the nail on the head. "I declined the offer," he snits. "Second to only Arvin Sloane, Irina Derevko is the last person I want having access to the U.S. government's secure network." Syd's all, but she'd be watched! And she'd be surrounded! And she'd look really pretty, because the government-issue hairdressers and makeup artists would make sure to give her that special treatment they reserve for out-of-cell moments! Kendall's all, save it, sweetheart. Your mama ain't getting anywhere near computers or telecommunications equipment any time soon so, like, get over it. Syd's all, but we're wasting time! And she's really pretty! And we're pretty together! And Lena Olin's already demanded a minimum of thirty seconds outside her cell as a bargaining chip in her contract renewal! Kendall just smirks and says, "Agent Bristow, we hire qualified technicians around here. What do you say we give them a shot?" Hee. I love it when Terry O'Quinn brings the smirk to the table. He's so good at bureaucratic snobbery.

Virtuous Vaughn, in an effort to placate Kommandant Kendall and appease his would-be girlfriend at the same time, steps up and informs Syd that her countermission is simple. "In Vietnam, you'll download the data packets SD-6 is looking for and switch it with this." He hands her a disc. "It's corrupted data. We'll have what SD-6 needs, and they'll never be able to access Echelon. And Syd," he says rather earnestly, "we'll find Marshall." Syd just nods at him as if to say, "Oh, who the hell gives a damn about Marshall? Are you gonna KISS me or WHAT?"

And, like, okay. First of all, that countermission sure as shit doesn't sound simple. And B) of course they're going to find Marshall. Duh. Even if Marshall manages to get his flabby ass shot and killed, you can be pretty damn sure that he'll show up again at some point in the future. Because on Alias? Death is just the beginning.

Dark Dungeon Of Dental Dementia. SDAP leans over Marshall as he sweats and squirms. "I will ask you one more time," he wheezes in a voice reminiscent of that creepy hanger-brandishing German guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark, "where is the Echelon software you took from us?" Marshall splutters, "I swear on my mother's grave, I don't know." He starts crying. But because this is Marshall, and it's nearly impossible to keep his mouth shut even when he's just ingested a tube full of goo, he splutters some more. "And though, technically Mom's still alive," he splews, "she has picked out her gravesite, so --" SDAP's all, okay, I gotta shut this idiot up. "Refusal to cooperate has a price," he hisses, reaching for the tube of hardener and bringing it close to Marshall's face as the minions pry open his mouth with the dental device again. Marshall's all, nonononononono as SDAP informs him that his mommy will be next if he doesn't cooperate. Marshall wisely decides to join the ranks of the Dentally Demented and, after the minions remove the device, starts yammering that he sent the software to SD-6 and that, even though there ain't nothin' he can do about that, he conveniently has a photographic memory and can recreate the entire Echelon access program from scratch. "Just don't hurt my mother, please," he cries. "You leave my mother alone!" SDAP just smirks at him and announces that they're off to a very good start.