A Higher Echelon

Episode Report Card
Erin: C+ | Grade It Now!
Bring Me A Higher Love!

Back in the auditorium, Syd's giving her spiel about satellites. Dix informs her that it's time to put the kids to sleep. Syd puts on Mary's sunglasses and touches a button on the screen of her laptop or something. The machine starts flashing as Dix tells Syd that he's gained access. Precisely to WHAT he's gained access, we don't really know at this point. But we're too stunned by the Goldmember-esque stylings of the demonic strobe projector to bother trying to find out.

The dudes in the audience all immediately pass out. Like, their heads actually dip over to one side. God, this is stupid. Syd makes her way through them, locates the guy whose badge will get her into any room in the ministry, rips it off, and makes her way out of the room. Dix tells her that the data packets she's looking for are in the hard drive, which is located in the server room. It's a couple levels down. "You've got three minutes," he finishes. Thanks for the update, pal. Why don't YOU try running through a dark theater wearing sunglasses that a grandma with cataracts wouldn't be caught dead in?

Syd runs down some stairs and through a hall, passing a couple of Vietnamese guys who, because this is Alias and not Full Metal Jacket, neither notice nor comment upon the fact that a tall, gorgeous Caucasian woman is traipsing down their hallways. Syd gets to the security door, accesses the ID pad, and runs in to the hard drive area. Dix informs Syd that she now has two minutes to find the right hard drive. Once again, thanks Trooper Time Check. I do have a WATCH, you know. Syd pulls and prods at a couple of metal thingies in a big machine. Because I really wish they'd just done away with this little tension-mounter of a scene, I'm just going to cut to the chase and tell you that the hard drive or whatever that Syd needs is in Room 147 on Level One and not, sadly, in this room. Syd's all, coolio! I'll get there! Dix is all, no time, sweetheart. The repair room is just off the lobby. I'll do it. Meet me later, dude. Syd, knowing that if Dix gets his hands on the drive, he'll just hand it over to SD-6, freaks out. She's all, DUDE! No! Dude? I'll make it! Too bad Dix is already on his way.

In the lobby, Dix walks up and attempts to sound like a geek by putting on a nasally voice that vaguely resembles that of Poindexter in Revenge of the Nerds. Meanwhile, Syd's trying to beat his ass to the repair room. The guard at the desk tries checking Dix's information; Dix continues whining in that bad nerd voice. Finally, a guard leads Dixon down the hall. As soon as they're out of view, Dix goes all Sydney on the guard's ass and beats the crap out of him, shoving him into the repair room. They engage in far too little ass-kicking for my taste, and the guard bites the dust.

Dixon's looking at the hard drives on the table when Syd enters. Dix jumps about a foot in the air, realizes it's her and not another guard, and then they start working together, trying to find the drive. Unfortunately, Dixon gets it first. See? I told you her countermission wasn't fucking simple! Stupid Vaughn.

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