Alias
A Higher Echelon

Episode Report Card
Erin: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Bring Me A Higher Love!

Vaughn fills Will in on the details of his employment. Mainly, he's supposed to act like he works for some monthly travel magazine that's just a CIA-operated front. He'll go to the office when paged, and he'll have to analyze whatever materials the CIA leaves for him. Then he fills out some paperwork, gives it to some guy named Bill, and he's done. "Welcome to the CIA," says Vaughn, shaking Will's hand. "Thank you," says Will, smiling. Thinking they're finished, Vaughn looks down at the floor as if to dismiss Will. Unfortunately, Will's not quite done yet. "Listen," he says. "Obviously, you're a good guy and I can't tell you how much I appreciate this job and what I'm going to say is...inappropriate. Sydney cares about you, and what you guys have, or don't have, means a great deal to her. I want to make sure you respect that."

Okay, yeah, it was totally offsides and out of line and you know what? I don't care. Because Bradley Cooper is so hot in this scene and Michael Vartan is so hot in this scene and they're both so goddamn hot and filled with integrity and I really can't control myself. Julio! Bring Mommy the fire hose! Someone's libido's on fire and it AIN'T Sergeant Stanky over here!

Ooh, that's better. Muchas gracias, Julio. Now bring Mommy a towel. And a barrel of Blue Nun.

Seriously, though. When Will says "inappropriate," Michael Vartan manages to eye-act that he's slightly nervous about just what "inappropriate" might mean, because, you know, it could mean that Will's going to totally make a pass at him. But then there's this pause and Will says the thing about Sydney caring for him and once again, Michael Vartan eye-acts a subtle "Huh? Oh. OH! Ohhh..." moment that is so priceless it's worth watching again and again and again.

Oh, and Bradley Cooper's just hot.

Meanwhile, at some random geeky guy's desk at SD-6, Uncle Arvin's lurking over the geek's shoulder while he works at his laptop. According to the screen, the Echelon system is fifty-eight percent recompiled. Whatever the hell that means.

Then we're treated to the same swirling stock footage of the satellite orbiting the planet, only this time, it's going in the opposite direction or something. Like I care. It looks like Legos on a blue screen, dudes.

Ops Center For Oops, There Goes The Echelon! Kendall's addressing the troops. "I just got off the phone with the director again and he asked me again if I knew we were in the intelligence business." Hee. Goddamn, he's funny. The camera passes by the grim faces of Jack, Vaughn, and Syd as Kendall continues. "SD-6 is, by our best estimates, less than twelve hours away from accessing Echelon which will give them all the intelligence capabilities of the CIA. Our efforts to prevent Gerard Cuvee from re-accessing Echelon ended in tragedy. Four agents killed. As far as we know, your SD-6 tech ops officer Marshall Flinkman could already have Cuvee up and running again."

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Alias

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