Alias
A Higher Echelon

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Erin: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Bring Me A Higher Love!

While we watch the plot devices burn and burn, Vaughn and Craig are freaking the hell out in the surveillance van. "We'll need the cell tower signal codes for Istanbul, Karachi, and Taipei!" Vaughn orders Hot Agent Craig. "Jack, listen to me. What pocket is your phone in? If it's the left jacket pocket, hold up one finger. In the right pocket, hold up two." Jack glances at his menu and signals Vaughn with one finger. Sadly, it's not his MIDDLE finger. A waiter walks up and asks if they're ready to order. Unfortunately, Jack's not quite ready. First, the writers have to toss a couple of live cows on the fire to distract us; then Face Doneaway has to keep her head pointing in completely the opposite direction as Jack's menu so that the waiter can reach into Jack's pocket and pull out his cell phone without anyone noticing. Whew. That was close. I didn't even notice it when time stood still and that waiter grasped the phone with a set of king-sized barbeque tongs.

The waiter finally leaves, and Face Doneaway returns her head to its previous (and scary) position, and demands Jack's phone. Jack buys some time by mentioning that Face said there were two things. "Who is Steven Haladki?" she minxes. Jack responds, "He was a CIA agent loyal to Irina Derevko. Oh, and he was an incredible weasel." "Whom you murdered," states Face.

Over in the van, Vaughn looks like he's about to vomit. He looks over at Hot Agent Craig as Face continues, "We found brain matter in the gun you fired on the day Emily was murdered. I admit, I thought DNA tests would prove that you killed her but instead they proved you killed Haladki." Back at the table, Jack's all, yeah, whatever -- he was a weasel and he worked for Irina. Believe me. If you'd met him, YOU would have nailed his ass too. Can we move on now?

Vaughn's still sitting there with his thumb up his ass, totally stunned that a warm-hearted and loving individual like Jack would do anything as heinous as killing a sniveling little shit like Haladki. Hot Agent Craig snaps him out of his reverie by announcing that they can't wait for Bristow's phone and that he needs Vaughn's. Vaughn dumbly hands his phone over as Hot Agent Craig says that the card's been reprogrammed and he'll stamp Jack's serial number on the SIM card. Then he hands all the shit to Vaughn and yells at him that he'll have to make the phone switch himself.

At the same time, Face is still working Jack over about Haladki. In the background, we see Vaughn pass off the phone to the waiter. Jack says something about how the death of a CIA agent draws unwanted attention and focus and how, when it happens, the safest recourse is to say nothing. Oh, wait, toss another livestock animal on the fire, dudes! There's another ham-handed phone switch going on over here!

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Alias

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