Alias
A Higher Echelon

Episode Report Card
Erin: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Bring Me A Higher Love!

Quick as a bunny, Syd zips over to the next building and clambers onto the roof. She slinks over to some box on the wall and accesses the surveillance feed. She asks Dix if he's getting a signal. It takes him a second, but he gets it and finds Marshall in a storage room on the forty-seventh floor. He gives Syd directions, and she asks about the number of guards. Dix is all, there's two, but don't worry about it; I'll lock the elevators and secure the doors. You just get in there and get our baby boy!

Sloane's Office Of Particularly Putrid Plotlines. Geeky Guy enters and informs Sloane that they'll be uplinked to Echelon in two minutes. Sloane barely notices his existence because he's too busy trying to outbid a twelve-year-old for an autographed pair of Jack Osbourne's boxer briefs. And before you can even say it, ew.

At the same time in the Dental Dungeon, Marshall tells the minions that he's finished. "The program's written," he gasps. And the satellite spins round and round like a record baby right round round round.

Oops Center. Kendall's breathing down Irina's neck. And not in the good way. He's all, uh, we estimated that SD-6 would have Echelon operational by midnight, princess. It's now ten after. Irina just stares at the screen and tells him that the blue spots are Echelon access points, and the red spots are Swarm access points. Oh, Jesus. Who gives a shit? This recap is already a thousand pages long. SINGLE SPACED. Kendall's all, what about the overlapping? Irina's all, what ABOUT the overlapping? I'm all, SHUT UP ABOUT THE OVERLAPPING.

And we're back with Marshall as SDAP clicky-clacks at Marshall's laptop while everyone watches. A window pops up with "Echelon" written at the top. This makes SDAP happy. SDAP smiles. Then a Pong game replaces the Echelon window and starts blipping merrily on the screen. This makes SDAP angry. SDAP growls. Marshall starts giggling like the silly man that he is and says, "You know where you can go, you FREAK? Any idea?!" This makes SDAP violent. SDAP orders his men to kill Marshall. Marshall picks up where Brass Balls Will left off and tells SDAP that he can go straight to hell.

J. Syd pops up just as SDAP is ordering his men to kill Marshall's mother as well. That's it for J. Syd. She bolts in and makes mincemeat of the guards with her stylin' "On the 6" moves and chillin' bootylicious kicks. There's some major bone-cracking and extended slo-mo but, finally, the guards are disposed of. When they're down for the count, Syd looks up and sees SDAP staring at her. Instead of pulling one of the guard's guns off the floor and making SDAP suck down a few bullets, Syd just throws him a roundhouse kick, sending him flinging out of his wheelchair and onto the concrete floor.

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Alias

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