Alias
A Higher Echelon

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Erin: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Bring Me A Higher Love!

"You know," says Foolio, "you could quit." Oh, Jesus. Again with the quitting thing. How many times has Foolio told Syd to quit her fucking job? A dozen? It's such a useless thing to make Foolio say, you know? It's Syd's JOB. And even though she doesn't know this yet -- although, given how blabbermouthed Syd's been during this episode already, she'll probably know it by the end of the goddamn show -- Syd helps save the world just a little bit every damn day, SO CAN IT ALREADY. And writers? I'm talking to you. Now, if they'd made Foolio say, "You know, you could just slam him up against the copier after hours and Xerox his ass while you give him head," I think that would be FAR more interesting. Having her trudge down the "why don't you just quit" path is boring, stilted, and so '87. Let it go already.

Syd agrees with me because she's all, Francie? Blow me. Foolio's all, look, I don't know what kind of hold this job has over you, but, like, you never bring me any cheap keychains from the airports you've been through and, like, YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH BILLIONS. Syd's all, it doesn't have a hold on me, okay? And if you tell me to quit my job one more time, I'm going to put Drano in all the salt shakers. Foolio's all, blah blah blah the bank treats you like shit, flim fling flummox I haven't heard you gush about a guy in forever, ding dong ditch 'em no one in the free world works as hard as you. Except, of course, for James Brown, but he doesn't look as cute in a miniskirt.

Syd's all, yeah yeah yeah, sell it to someone who's already purchased the Brooklyn Bridge, okay? Foolio's all, maybe you and Vaughn -- I mean, "Michael" -- I mean, "Vaughn"! -- I mean, "Michael"! -- are destined for each other. Maybe he should quit. Syd's all, wow. Is your last name "Mind"? Because your middle name sure as FUCK is "One-Track." Finally, Syd's had enough and gets the hell out of there. But before she leaves, Syd treats us to what is possibly the most adorable smile ever exhibited on the small screen.

Ops Center For Expository Title Cards That Explain That This Is, Indeed, The Ops Center, You Know, Just In Case YOU FORGOT SINCE THE LAST TIME THERE WAS A NEW EPISODE. Thanks for that, by the way. Because, suddenly, I thought we'd accidentally been transported to a governmental scene from the soon-to-be released The Matrix Reloaded, what with all the green-tinted glass everywhere. Mmmm...Hugo Weaving...mmm...

Oh, for God's sake, Viggo. I don't CARE if Hugo didn't shower that much when you worked together on Lord of the Rings. You were in New Zealand, dude. That's allowed! And I guarantee you, Hugo has at least PURCHASED soap in the past year, okay? Stop trying to justify your stank and go WASH IT OFF.

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Alias

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