Previously on Alias: Anna Espinosa returned from the dead, Sark led Vaughn on a wild Sark chase, and Nadia up and got herself shot. Will she make it out of this episode alive? Dun dun DUUUUUN! Yeah. Let me save you some angst. She makes it. She survives. Don't say I never did you any favors. And somebody pass the parmesan Goldfish crackers and a stein of vodka because Mama needs something strong to get her through this episode.
After what feels like twenty minutes of previouslys, we finally get up to speed and hook up with Syd as she waits by Nadia's bedside. Uncle Arvin enters, wearing an expression of, "I will GET the bitch that did this to my baby girl." Syd tells him that the Estonian doctors managed to get the bullet out of Nadia's back, but that the internal bleeding was so severe they've had to put Nadia into a coma until her body recovers. Or something. I honestly don't know why putting someone into a coma actually helps in a situation such as this, but this is why I'm not a doctor and WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE VODKA? Because if the rest of this episode is going to follow this format and make me confused for no reason, I'd better be drunk. Or, you know, drunker than usual.
So, yeah, Nadia's in a coma for at least the next 48 hours. I know I mentioned it in the recaplet, but it bears mentioning again: Ron Rifkin acts the hell out of this first scene. And he does it with the way he uses his eyes and twists his lips around his words. I shit you not, it's the most impressive acting I've seen so far this season. Just as I'm about to steal Jamie Foxx's Oscar (yeah, I saw Ray and all I have to say to you is: Don fucking Cheadle -- man was robbed) and hand it over to Rifkin, his phone rings and he spits, "I thought I told you I was not to be disturbed." Apparently, whoever is on the other end doesn't care about this directive, because Sloane listens for a second and then just says, "I'll be right there," and walks off.
Apple Store. The elevator doors open up and Hannibal the Cannibal is wheeled in and -- oh, wait. It's actually Sark, done up to look like Hannibal the Cannibal. Only without the weird Starling fetish and apparent lust for human flesh. I know Sark's a wily little fucker, but last time I checked, he hadn't chomped someone's tongue right out of his mouth with his pulse barely rising above eighty-five, okay? All I'm saying is, last week? They let Vaughn hang out in the cell with Sark without any extra precautions, but this week? Dude gets wrapped in barbed wire and stapled to a trolley? The fuck? Either he's hella dangerous or he's…not. The vipers' nest of writers needs to make up their damn minds.