Alias
All The Time In The World (2)

Episode Report Card
Erin: B- | 8 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
This is the end. My foolish friends, the end.

Back in the present, Sydney's getting her guns ready to head to Mongolia. Rachel walks up and says that she's going to hack into the NRO so they can use their optical satellites to locate the missiles. Syd looks at her in surprise and says that Prophet Five is gone, and Rachel's family is no longer in danger; she doesn't have to do this anymore. "People have given their lives for this," says Rachel with emotion, "I'm not gonna bail on them now. I'm in this until it's over." Man, I really like her character a lot. I'm bummed that she didn't get more to do. Instead of thanking her or offering her some sort of comfort, Sydney just grits, "Of course, if we don't get Sloane, that won't be too long from now." I'm assuming she means that the end of the world is nigh or something, but that sentence was all kinds of awkward, so I'm not really sure.

We hear an explosion and some rocks get tossed at the camera lens by a couple of production assistants. An entrance appears at the back and Sloane walks through with a lamp, followed closely by Sark. "Did it have to be so filthy?" he snits. "I mean, really, if Rambaldi can prophesize the future, he might have advised me not to wear $500 shoes." HEE! Who knew Sark was such a dandy? I mean, he always looks good, but he never TALKS about how good he looks. Also? This line is a prime example of how, when the writers are on, they are fucking ON. Yeah, the storylines may sometimes suck, but lines like this are precious gems.

The group makes its way forward into the blasted area, and Sark says that structural imaging shows that there's a chamber about 200 feet below them. "That's quite a climb," says Sark, obviously worried that his $3,000 suit will get dusty. Sloane says he needn't worry; the next step is for him and him alone. He picks up his case and moves forward, leaving Sark behind. He walks down some dusty steps and comes face to face with a large formally columned chamber that looks like it was pulled directly out of one of the pyramids before the lootings began. Sloane approaches a huge stone tomb and upon it is carved "MILO RAMBALDI." So, I guess Rambaldi, an Italian, was held in a Russian monastery prior to his execution, which took place in...Bangkok? Paris? Peru? And then, after he was "killed," he was buried in, of all places, Mongolia? Because...that's where Italian visionaries are buried? In Mongolian tombs?

This show has officially lost its thread.

Speaking of losing their thread, Sloane's is rapidly unraveling. He places the case with The Sphere on top of the tomb and opens it. He removes The Sphere and carries it to a small stone dais in the middle of the room. "At last," he says, breathing heavily. "After almost thirty years." He's about to place The Sphere in what I assume is its official "spot" when Dead Nadia appears in a pale pink dress to ask her father if it's everything he imagined it would be. Sloane's all, Nadia! Baby! So glad you're here! If I didn't have someone to share this with, I would have doubted my own eyes. Also? Ooogedy-boogedy! And phhhhhffffththththt! La la la la LALALALA. Man's a nutter.

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Alias

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