Authorized Personnel Only, Part II

Episode Report Card
Erin: C | 3 USERS: B-
Double Your Premiere, Double Your Fun

And now we move on to London. We're going to do one of the standard Alias "we're on the mission already and we'll switch over to Marshall for comedy routines and techno-babble when absolutely necessary" scenes. Syd and Vaughn, clad all in black, are running across a rooftop. Marshall gets on the comm and congratulates them on…running across the roof really well? I don't know. "Stay focused," he says, obviously excited to be on another mission with his buds. "They're focused," says Dixon, obviously remembering how annoying Marshall can sometimes be. Okay, so, break-in time. Do I need to describe it? No. No, I don't. Suffice it to say, Syd blowtorches some hinge somewhere as Vaughn tries to bypass the security system to make the security cameras loop and Marshall talks him through it. Everything goes smoothly until the hinge that Syd's torching burns off and something clanks down into a vent. The security inside totally hears it and wants to check it out. But the monitors are showing the security desk guards that everything's cool near the sword, so the guards tell the other guard not to bother checking it out. Yeah. I don't know. There's forty-five minutes left to the episode and I'm really looking forward to the two billion commercial breaks that are peppered throughout the remaining portion.

Syd goes to enter the vent and Vaughn wishes her luck. Um, she's not heading to the frontline, wingnut. She's scooting down a vent and stealing a sword. And we totally know she's gonna nab it, dude. We know. So save your wishes for when Syd has to scale the Eiffel Tower and shoot an arrow into Sacre Coeur while hanging upside down AND playing the violin, okay? ["I bet that totally happens, too." -- Sars] As Syd heads down into the vent, we switch over to Marshall, who's spending his minutes with Dixon being a total toolbox. But an enjoyable one. He's yammering on about how cool this whole situation is; you know, stealing a sword in order to nab a bad guy in order to nab an even BIGGER bad guy. Yeah. That's cool. "Come on," he says. "Come on. You would never let us do this -- back in the CIA -- back when you were double-breasted…serious…robot Dixon." And he does that last part like he's the robot from Lost in Space all, "Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!" Hee. Marshall can be annoying at times (make that really, really, REALLY annoying), but I did miss him. He's stupid funny. Dixon, however, does NOT find him even remotely stupid funny, so Marshall meekly apologizes to him for the robot comment.

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