Authorized Personnel Only, Part II

Episode Report Card
Erin: C | 3 USERS: B-
Double Your Premiere, Double Your Fun

Back in Danger Dungeon, Syd's still strapped to the chair. Rick Yune returns, this time with a henchman in tow. Damn, Rick Yune is hot. Even when he's preparing to torture Sydney, he's hot. It's true. So, while Syd watches, the henchman hooks a water hose up to a mask. Rick Yune says something about how he saw Syd in the park and how he was looking for the woman who stole the Shintaro and then he put two and two together and realized that Sydney WAS the woman who stole the Shintaro and man, he may be hot but not too smart, huh? But Rick Yune thinks that Sydney's there for a reason other than the sword. Syd looks totally baffled. Rick Yune's all, so? You found out, huh? About the hit? And if you know about the hit, then you must know why you were spared, why the job went away. Again, Syd looks totally clueless. But Rick Yune thinks she knows something, so he shoots the henchman a glance, and the henchman shoves the mask onto Syd's face and they hit the water and it gushes in, essentially drowning her in the mask.

Commercial three thousand and twenty-three. I'm not kidding. It's only been five minutes since the last one. TiVo says so.

Can I just say that Rick Yune drowning Sydney because he thinks she knows why a hit on HER was called off is about the dumbest thing I've ever seen? Why would you try to torture someone who was an assassination target in order to find out something…they more than likely know nothing about? That's like persecuting your current boyfriend or girlfriend for something your last boyfriend or girlfriend did to you. It makes no sense, your current boyfriend or girlfriend is most likely just going to be confused and pissed off, and you STILL won't get anywhere closer to a resolution. Dumb dumb dumb.

Also? Kill The Bachelor/The Bachelorette, please. Kill it now.

Danger Dungeon. The henchman rips off the mask, allowing Syd to gasp some air. She's all, dude? I don't know about any hit. The henchman puts the mask back on her. Rick Yune's all, you wouldn't be here if you didn't know about the contract. Or, you know, if the writers weren't grasping at straws and trying to intersect four totally different plot points in one fell swoop. They pull the mask off again and Syd's all, no, seriously (cough! cough!), what (cough! cough!) damn contract? Rick Yune's all, the contract I had on your life, dude. Syd's all, you were hired to kill me? The hell? Who hired you? And I'm all, yo' mamma, dude. Seriously. Syd asked, "Who hired you?" and I yelled, "YOUR MOTHER." See? I am psychic.

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