Previously on Alias: Irina was discovered to be alive, and the land it did rejoice. Elena and Sloane released Clifford the Big Red Ball over some made-up Russian city and the land it did go postal. Vaughn sucked it up and finally asked Sydney to marry him and the land it did go, "JUST SAY YES ALREADY, DAMMIT." Spy Mommy, Spy Daddy, Spy Barbie, Spy Skipper, and Spy Fiancé teamed up to take down the Clifford, and the land it did go, "Hell YEAH!"
We begin where we left off at the end of the last episode, with the Plane of Spy Family Reunions booking towards Clifford the Big Red Ball. Everyone drops out of the plane and zooms toward the Nerf Ball of Death. They land without incident in a ravaged part of the city. Cars are left abandoned, some are on fire, alarms are blaring and it looks like absolutely no one is around. The Spy Family wanders around, looking terribly attractive in their all-black ensembles. Jack comments that the DSR is supposed to be there to meet them, but there's no sign of them. He barks at no one in particular that they should contact the Apple Store, and then he just picks up his phone and makes the call himself. Way to delegate, Master and Commander.
At the Apple Store, Marshall comes careening around a corner, shouting that Jack's on sat-comm. Weiss picks up and asks Jack what the situation is. Jack says they're at the rendezvous point, waiting on the DSR team. They're giving the DSR dudes another five minutes, and then they're moving on. Jack asks about the Russians, and Weiss informs him that a coalition has been formed to put pressure on the Russians to call off the air strike, but unfortunately, no luck. "They do understand that destroying the device with conventional explosives will cause enough toxic fallout to make Chernobyl look like a kitchen fire?" snits Jack. Heh. Weiss says the official position of the Russians is that they're not buying it. This gives the Spy Family approximately two hours to dismantle the thing and get the hell out of there. Syd comes up and tells Jack that the DSR is just a couple blocks away. Jack basically hangs up on Weiss. Heh.
Marshall geeks at Weiss that he can hack into the military satellite system and bring down the Russian bombs. Weiss is all, oh, sure, dude. And while you're at it, why not break a few billion international laws? Marshall's all, honey? There's a toxic red marble hovering above an innocent city; now is not the time to grow a moral backbone, mmm-kay? Weiss is all, that is TOTALLY a good point. Go to it, Little Geeky One! Hee.









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