A huge thank-you to Mike, officially the nicest man in the world, who drove over in the pouring rain so I could borrow his tape of Alias after my VCRs pooped out. And thanks to my roommate, who coordinated the whole thing in my absence, as well as everyone else who offered to let me use their tapes. You are all good, kind people, and one day I will write songs about you.

Hey! A new exposition montage. Are they fiddling with this every week or what? Same backstory, just slightly different photos. This time they actually coincide with Sydney's VO. Also, it's just as melodramatic as ever, and it now ends on the "double agent I hardly know…my father" thing.

Previouslys: "Kate Jones" tells Will about the affair she was having with Danny, Sydney's fiancé. Will tells her he knows she's a fraud. Marshall discovers that someone's hacking into SD-6's system, and shuts everything down. Sloane knows there's a mole. Sydney gets sent to Romania to find Martin Shepard so that SD-6 can find Gareth Parkishoff's body; Sydney goes undercover as a mental patient, only to have her back-up, Fisher, killed.

The show opens on a gruesome close-up of Fisher's garroted self. Sydney takes off down the hall, followed by a bald goon. She's wearing a boiled wool sweater that should scream "Eastern European surplus," but it looks like it came out of the Anthropologie catalogue aimed at those of us who aspire to wealthy bo-ho grad-student chic. And call me weird, but I prefer Sydney's hair kind of unkempt rather than the blow-outs and slicked-back ponytails they keep inflicting on her. You know, recapping this episode really threw me off, and I realized what it was: There aren't any hideous costume changes stolen from Charo's wardrobe, or any big party scenes.

Gratuitous sax and violins. Except for the sax part. It's just violins, and lots of 'em, playing in the background. Bald goon with taser/club follows Sydney. Fighting ensues. Sydney gains the upper hand and has the guy by the throat when another woman enters and shoots the goon with a tranquilizer gun. Sydney turns around, startled, and it turns out that Dr. Ratched was standing right there and shoots her with a tranq. Sydney does a very slow pietà before crumpling to the floor.

Los Angeles. Credit Dauphine. Sloane tells Jack that Sydney and Fisher missed their call-in time. The Kettle Drums Of Doom play slowly behind them. Jack says coolly that the worst case is that they're not alone. Sloane says that Sydney's a smart kid who's dealt with worse than this. Jack says maybe not. Sloane repeats his words slowly, as if they taste bad, and then says, "I believe in her. I believe in her as if she were my own daughter." Discordant strings whine. Jack looks as icked out as I feel and says, "Nice to hear." He asks when their next scheduled contact is. Sloane says, "Ten hours. Then we'll know how hot the water is."

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