Alias
Alias

Episode Report Card
Erin: B | 398 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Dream On

The crew and Cronenberg meet up in the middle of the space, and Cronenberg spits and sputtles that he was just thinking they weren't supposed to arrive until Tuesday but that it actually is Tuesday, and hi, how's everyone doing, and you've come to me at a really awkward time, so, like, I can't promise you anything, and look at the pretty lights. Pretty lights! They're coming from your heads! Aw. Pretty lights! Like, seriously. Recapping Cronenberg's dialogue is SO not gonna be easy here. The man's CLEARLY on drugs, and so is his little girlfriend, and I'm not even sure anything he has to say is important, so I'm gonna make this shit up as I go along, okay? So, Jack's all, yeah, um, drugstore cowboy? Over here. Focus. Your research into memory retrieval is really cool. Cronenberg's all, oh, yeah that. That is such a trip! Pretty Girl cuddles up to him and whispers something in his ear. Cronenberg explains that Pretty Girl likes to hug people. He then introduces her as "Kaya," thereby saving me the chore of having to refer to her as "Pretty Girl" for the rest of the recap. Kaya's his assistant, apparently, and she's all about the hugging. Okaaaay. "You know? I'm starving," says Cronenberg. "Anyone else?" And before anyone else can answer, Cronenberg and Kaya head off to the kitchen. Jack turns to Vaughn and Syd. "Okay, you have GOT to be kidding me!" says Vaughn. Hee. "I can't do this," says Syd. What exactly bothers you about this, Syd? The fact that he didn't wash his hands coming out of the bathroom or that both he and his assistant have partaken of some very fine Jamaican Blue in the recent hours? Jack's all, hey, the dude creeps me out too, okay? But we're not here because we have other options, right?

There's a mini time lapse, and then we're watching Cronenberg drop what looks like some tasty bacon slices onto a plate. Syd and crew, along with Kaya, are seated in the makeshift living room. Kaya still doesn't have any pants on, like, at least put a towel down or something, dude. That is SO unsanitary. Cronenberg enters and offers everyone a slice of "facon." Heh. Cronenberg takes a seat and holds up a piece of "facon" which is, essentially, soy bacon. He delivers an explanation as to what it is, but that's not really important right now. Neither is much of anything else that follows in this scene. The nutshell? Cronenberg knows that all he knows is that he's not supposed to know anything about the crew. Okaaaay. And, yes, "okaaaay" may be repeated throughout the next couple of paragraphs.

Alias

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