Oops Center. Lauren's walking down a hall, and Marshall's running after her. She stops, and he skids to a halt, getting this grossed-out look on his face. "Ugh," he grimaces. "I had too many jelly doughnuts." Lauren's all, really? Me too. And I think I had too many banana daiquiris for breakfast because, dude? I am HAMMERED right now. Wanna go lie down in the Conference Room of Endless Expositions and make shadow puppets on the ceiling? Marshall's all, totally! But first, lemme give you these severed-hand results. I couldn't match 'em to anything in the DNA database, but I did run some forensic tests that could be interesting.
We switch to Jack at the Dream Dugout as he's getting off his cell phone. It was Lauren, and she told him about the DNA-matching conundrum. Syd pipes up that, in the middle of her birthday-cake dream, she looked down and dreamed she was cutting off Lazaboomchicaboom's hand. She's all, why would I dream I was cutting off the hand of a man I murdered? I don't know, Syd. Why did I dream that I showed up to work wearing nothing but a plaid mini-skirt and a piano-key tie and my grade-school boyfriend Donny Gray was there and he kissed me and then turned into my cousin Cameron and then his head got chopped off and he ran around the office flapping his arms? Why? Why would I dream something like that? Could it be that burrito I ate last night right before I went to bed? Huh. Jack says that Marshall's forensic evidence suggests that the owner of the hand was alive as recently as four months ago. Syd's all, huh? What? The what? Then it couldn't have been Lazawannahumphump because, dudes? I offed his Russkie ass AGES ago. Jack's all, not so fast there, honey. Maybe you didn't kill him. Syd's all, um, did YOU watch the videotape? Yeah? How 'bout the part where I slashed his throat? Huh? Looked pretty dead to me. Jack's all, honey? It could have been a performance. Vaughn says that, since Lazarey was a Russian diplomat, he probably had his DNA typed. Lauren's worked with the Russians before, so she can easily call 'em up and ask for the DNA.
Just then, Creepy Cronenberg enters the room and blabbles that Syd's experience really was "something," and that whatever happened in her dream sent her into cardiac arrest, which almost sent him into cardiac arrest and are you okay? Heh. He's like your favorite drunk uncle; he makes no sense, but he's so damn funny while he's gibbering and gabbering on that you don't really care. Syd assures him that she's fine, and then Jack asks her what else she remembers about the dream. She pretty much just regurgitates the dream that we all witnessed. She says she lost the men and herself on the gurney before she could see where they were taking her. Syd then looks at Vaughn. "Lauren strangled me," she says carefully. The expression on Vaughn's face is priceless. "Well, that was a dream," he says. Syd doesn't look so sure. "It must've been a dream, right?" Vaughn asks Cronenberg. "Right? I mean, RIGHT? MY WIFE DIDN'T REALLY STRANGLE MY EX-GIRLFRIEND, RIGHT?" Cronenberg just says that this whole pink-n-green fluid memory thing ain't really an exact science, you know? Jack remarks that, at that point in her life, Syd hadn't even met Lauren. Cronenberg suggests that this could have been a representational figure. Masked people, shape shifters - they're all part of the dream world. "They first appear as one character -- your mother, an old classmate--" "In my case, a parrot," pipes up Kaya. "...a parrot," continues Cronenberg in this voice that's like, "okaaaaay". Heh. "But, uh, they're really just physical manifestations of someone else," he finishes.