Alias
Conscious

Episode Report Card
Erin: B- | 1 USERS: A
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Dream On

As Pretty Girl scampers across a large warehouse filled with strange equipment and a sort of makeshift living quarters, she shouts out for the professor. Syd and crew enter. "There are some beautiful people here!" says Pretty Girl. Enter David Cronenberg. Yes, THAT David Cronenberg. I'm a huge Cronenberg fan, so I've really been looking forward to this. And, I have to say, casting David Cronenberg as the weird non-invasive therapy doctor is a stroke of genius. The man is completely incapable of being normal which, if I'm surmising correctly, is just what this role calls for. Cronenberg exits what looks like a bathroom and approaches the crew, wiping his hands on his khaki cargo pants. Looks like he's gonna be about as into hygiene as Doc Avari.

The crew and Cronenberg meet up in the middle of the space, and Cronenberg spits and sputtles that he was just thinking they weren't supposed to arrive until Tuesday but that it actually is Tuesday, and hi, how's everyone doing, and you've come to me at a really awkward time, so, like, I can't promise you anything, and look at the pretty lights. Pretty lights! They're coming from your heads! Aw. Pretty lights! Like, seriously. Recapping Cronenberg's dialogue is SO not gonna be easy here. The man's CLEARLY on drugs, and so is his little girlfriend, and I'm not even sure anything he has to say is important, so I'm gonna make this shit up as I go along, okay? So, Jack's all, yeah, um, drugstore cowboy? Over here. Focus. Your research into memory retrieval is really cool. Cronenberg's all, oh, yeah that. That is such a trip! Pretty Girl cuddles up to him and whispers something in his ear. Cronenberg explains that Pretty Girl likes to hug people. He then introduces her as "Kaya," thereby saving me the chore of having to refer to her as "Pretty Girl" for the rest of the recap. Kaya's his assistant, apparently, and she's all about the hugging. Okaaaay. "You know? I'm starving," says Cronenberg. "Anyone else?" And before anyone else can answer, Cronenberg and Kaya head off to the kitchen. Jack turns to Vaughn and Syd. "Okay, you have GOT to be kidding me!" says Vaughn. Hee. "I can't do this," says Syd. What exactly bothers you about this, Syd? The fact that he didn't wash his hands coming out of the bathroom or that both he and his assistant have partaken of some very fine Jamaican Blue in the recent hours? Jack's all, hey, the dude creeps me out too, okay? But we're not here because we have other options, right?

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Alias

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