Alias
Countdown

Episode Report Card
Erin: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Right. "Countdown." When's the damn finale?

Dix escapes to another room of the house -- his bedroom, it seems -- and rips open a drawer, pulling out a bottle of pills. Just then, Vaughn exits the bathroom (I know it's the bathroom 'cuz we can hear a toilet flushing. For some reason, this makes me giggle uncontrollably. Vaughn. Peeing. HEE!) and sees Dix greedily hoisting pills into his mouth. Forehead Wrinkle #982 grooves itself into the space between Vaughn's eyebrows. Before Dix can see him, Vaughn retreats back into the bathroom. I hope he washes his hands while he's in there. Dirty bird.

Casa De Chick Chansons. Vaughn's casually unzipping Syd's dress (hee!) as he informs her of Dix's pill-popping. I actually really liked this moment between them -- Vaughn helping Syd with her dress and Syd changing into something more comfortable as they discuss Dix's problem. There's a nice comfort to it. Of course, if Michael Vartan and Jennifer Garner are really doing the nasty, as some rumors have suggested, then it's sleazy and rank and I really should stop reading US Weekly. I'm kidding! I'll NEVER stop reading US Weekly.

Syd suggests that it might have been aspirin Dix was gobbling. Vaughn's all, yeah, because aspirin comes in little orange bottles with labels on them and people in pain eat them like they're Tic-Tacs. Then he's like, I'm concerned that Dix is heading back to work days after his wife was murdered and he's self-medicating. Syd's all, I think he's just trying to do everything he can to survive in this situation, you know? Vaughn's all, oh, you mean the situation where he wants to find Sloane and KILL HIM? "I had the same thing with Danny," says Syd, causing Vaughn to look down at his shiny black shoes and wonder if his new girlfriend will EVER let go of that whole "dead fiancé" bullshit.

Satan Sloane's Silo Of Secrecy. Sarkalicious bolts into the room and blurts something about some dude they've been looking for who's been located in Panama City. "I can be there in seventeen hours," he says in his adorable Brit accent. "That's supposed to be a British accent?" shrieks Eddie from the kitchen. "Shhh, honey," I say, lighting another cigarette. "He could be speaking in a bad Bronx honk and he'd still be adorable." "More adorable than me?" whines Eddie. "Never," I say. "Now go back to the kitchen and tell Julio to bring me another plate of Cheez-Its. I have a hankering."

Sloane's concerned that, since the CIA has a copy of the database they had Kaplan decrypt, they'll quickly deduce just who Sloane and Sark are after and nab them quicker than you can say, "Holy hot plates on a river barge, these men look tasty in suits!" Sark's all, then what do you suggest? Sloane suggests that Sark call some dude who will do Sark's bidding, thereby keeping the CIA off their trail.

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Alias

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