Alias
Countdown

Episode Report Card
Erin: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Right. "Countdown." When's the damn finale?

Dr. Nancy's Nest Of Neuroses. Dix is undergoing a little one-on-one with Dr. Nancy, who's sporting a fantastic new 'do. She wants to talk about Dix's brush with bruising back in Guadalajara. This is yet another useless scene. Patricia Wettig's awesome. Carl Lumbly's awesome. The scene? More filler. You do realize, don't you, that this entire EPISODE is filler, right? Seriously. No, SERIOUSLY. Basically, she's all, uh, dude? Your Sloane vendetta is getting a bit out of control. Dix is all, yeah, and? Dr. Nancy's all, yeah, well, guess what? I get to decide whether or not your drug-munching ass gets to go back out into the field, okay? How do you like THEM apples? Dix is not fond of them apples, as his expression illustrates.

Meanwhile, Marshall's slurping some soup as he's gibbering on about this machine thing in Lucky DNA Dude's chest. I'm not really sure what the gist of Marshall's dialogue is, but I think it's that Lucky DNA Dude didn't have a heart at all, just a machine in there. Because, like, Marshall says something about him not ever having a heart transplant or an artificial heart, and then wonders what was keeping him alive. The whuh? With the whuh whuh?

Marshall pulls out some of his research on the Rambaldi drawings and says that there's mention of conquering tissue degeneration. Whatever. There's no ultimate conclusion to this scene except that Marshall slips up and refers to Agent Bowman as "Kerry." Syd's all, "'Kerry'? Oh, reaaaally? So she's 'Kerry,=' now, is she?" Syd's VERY amused at this point. Marshall's all, uh, yeah, I mean, Agent Bowman, I mean, uh, my girlfriend, I mean, not my girlfriend, I mean...I gotta go.

Marshall goes off to find a quiet corner in which to "amuse" himself, and Dixon walks up. He asks Syd if she told Dr. Nancy he wasn't fit for duty. Syd's all, nope. But judging by the way you tap-danced on Machete's face, I'd say you're not fit for cafeteria duty, let alone field work. Dix tells her that he's been ordered to take a drug test, and that he's been taking Vicodin. Syd looks disgusted with him. "I stopped!" he stammers. "I threw them away! But it doesn't matter, because it'll still show up on the drug test. Sydney, they're gonna suspend me."

Minutes later, Vaughn and Syd run into each other, and he tells her that her dad's developing an operation to intercept the Holocaust Heart. Syd's all, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you tell Dr. Nancy that Dix isn't fit for duty? Vaughn's all, oops. Busted. Yeah. Yeah, I did. What of it? Syd clenches her jaw and tersely orders Vaughn to follow her into another part of Oops Center.

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Alias

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