Alias
Crossings

Episode Report Card
Erin: F | 1 USERS: C-
YOU GRADE IT
Sniff sniff. Do you smell ass?

Oops Center. Lauren enters and makes her way to what we're supposed to assume is Vaughn's desk. I have no idea how we're supposed to assume this, but the fact that The Ominous Strings of Wifely Betrayal are being piped over the sound system indicates that Lauren's up to no good, and therefore she's probably doing something nasty to Vaughn in some way, shape, or form. She reaches Vaughn's desk and goes to pick up a file folder that is clearly marked "NORTH KOREA." Yeah. No one beats the CIA for keeping classified information UNDER WRAPS. I know that when I'm preparing for a top secret mission to a heavily guarded country, I like to leave important documents lying around on my desk in plain view of EVERYONE IN THE ROOM. God.

Before Lauren can get her hands on the file, however, she hears Vaughn say her name. She turns and lies about wanting some restaurant phone number. Vaughn's all, what were you doing, dude? There's a small pause. Of course, in that pause, we're supposed to think that Vaughn is totally onto his wife and is referring to her thwarted attempt to steal one of his clearly marked North Korean file folders. But no, he just wants to know why Lauren would ask Syd to dinner. She just minces something about how they can talk about it when she drives him to the airport. This, of course, gives Vaughn the chance to say that his stuff's still at the house and that Dover, the airfield, is minutes away from home, so he'll drive himself. So, Lauren's got the info she needs. Vaughn blah blahs something about how he doesn't want them associating with Sydney outside of work, but Lauren's not listening; instead, she's mentally undressing Arnold Vosloo and wondering what clover honey might taste like when licked off his beefy chest. Or maybe that's me.

After a totally inappropriate-for-the-workplace kiss, Vaughn leaves, and Lauren immediately calls Arnold and tells him the name of the airfield. We cut right to someone prepping a sniper rifle for business. Then we see the sniper himself get ready to take some people out. Across the airfield, Syd and Vaughn enter the plane safely. The sniper doesn't shoot them. Instead, he shoots the two pilots, who act as if they've both just gotten nasty wasp stings or something. The sniper enters the plane number into a PDA, and Arnold picks up the message on his end. The job's done. Arnold informs the man standing across from him that he is being deployed to North Korea. Unfortunately, the man standing across from him is Sark, and Sark really doesn't appreciate it when people, especially bald people, tell him what to do.

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Alias

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