Alias
Crossings

Episode Report Card
Erin: F | 1 USERS: C-
YOU GRADE IT
Sniff sniff. Do you smell ass?

Disney Backlot 481. Syd and Vaughn discover an abandoned jeep. They immediately start to salvage it. As they go to work, Vaughn starts to apologize for what a jackhole he was back on the plane. Syd just goes, "That's okay," before he can actually say the words. Oh, for Christ's sweet sake. Never! Never stop a man right before he's about to fucking APOLOGIZE. If there's one thing we women have learned, it's that men rarely apologize, so when they actually DO, you don't STOP THEM BEFORE THEY SAY THE WORDS. Vaughn blah blahs something about how easy it used to be for them to be together and how are they supposed to be friends now and get along and how ridiculous this all izzzzzzzz...

And what's Syd's response to all this jerk-hearted tongue wagging? "I slept with Will." What? Not "dude, you're being a jerkface and your wife's a bitch and you're an immature toad who can't seem to DEAL with the fact that you're WORKING WITH YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND when THOUSANDS of people before you have managed to DO JUST THAT without all this damn drama"? No. Just "I slept with Will." Vaughn's all, you what? In the what what? Syd just tells Vaughn that she and Will got drunk in Warsaw and slept together. Okay, A) how is this any of his business and B) what on EARTH has it got to do with Vaughn's dumb-ass statement about how difficult it is for them to work together?

Vaughn's all, oh, that's just great! How am I supposed to react to that? Syd's all, well, um, frankly, I don't give a rat's ass how you react to it, dude. Do a jig. Perform a high-wire act. Kiss a cactus. Just do SOMETHING other than be a sanctimonious PRICK. "Bad enough being a fugitive in North Korea, now I have to find out you slept with Will?" quips Vaughn, trying to make light of the situation. Yeah. Syd was real naughty there, Vaughn. Why, it's almost as naughty as, say, marrying someone after only knowing them nine months! Bad Syd! Going and sleeping with a friend she's known and cared about for several years! Naughty naughty! Syd states that she's moving on. Not with Will, just generally. Yeah. Because we were worried about that. To fill the awkward lull in conversation, Vaughn starts up the jeep, which now works perfectly. How convenient. They drive off.

Oops Center. Lauren's in some random hall or room somewhere, making a call to Arnold. She tells him that Syd and Vaughn are still in play, and he's all, dude? How is that even possible? Lauren's all, uh, good question, CUEBALL. Especially since I jeopardized my position here at the CIA in order to serve you their heads on a fucking platter. Arnold just says he'll pass the news along, and they end the call. Then Lauren leaves the bathroom, and we get an extended shot of the shut glass door. Why? Why do we get that shot? Was that really necessary? I don't think so. Oh, who gives a damn. We're about to see Isabella go apeshit on some guy.

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Alias

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