Alias
Double Agent

Episode Report Card
Erin: B- | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Let's Get It Awwwwn

Oops Center. Syd enters, wearing a cute little blue turtleneck that somehow manages to sneak us a peek at her flat little belly. I do that sometimes, when I'm feeling thin. I'll wear the low-slung black suit pants with the shirt that almost-not-quite reaches the top of my pants so that, if I raise my arms in a well-timed stretch, all the boys around me can get a good look at the mole next to my belly button. You know, because that is so HOT.

Ahem. Anyway, Vaughn and Good Ethan are chatting across the room. Aw. Cute boys in suits. Look at them chuckle and grin at each other. They see Syd and they go to shake hands, only to stop because Good Ethan's hand is in a cast. Good Ethan kind of waves the cast at Vaughn. Oh, Jesus. Ethan Hawke's even cute when he's crippled. And Vartan's even cute when he's saying nothing and just reacting to shit. God, they're cute.

Vaughn walks off, and Good Ethan walks over to Syd. She's all, four weeks off, eh? It's the least these over-working bikini-pushing bastards could do. Good Ethan says, "Yeah, well, they offered me counseling. But I haven't not worked in eight years." Okay, how is counseling even on the same level as a vacation? I mean, was that the offer? "Hey, you've been through hell. How's a couple of sessions with Dr. Nancy sound to ya? Or, like, a really long vacation? S'up to you, dude." The CIA sucks. Remind me not to join up any time soon.

Syd's all, so? Where ya headed? Good Ethan's all, I'm goin' ta Disneyland! Or he says, "Fiji. I've never been there before. D'Overbite and I were going to go for our honeymoon. She was from there." Oh, please. No one's from Fiji. I mean, have YOU ever heard of anyone actually BEING from Fiji? I mean, besides a FICTIONAL CHARACTER?

Syd's all, I know. I knew her. She what? She did? Since when? Could she maybe have mentioned this back in the kitchen when Good Ethan and his bottle were coming in for a landing on her lips? Oh, who cares? All we're supposed to learn from this moment is that Good Ethan had never been to Fiji and that's how D'Overbite new that Good Ethan was really Bad Ethan back in the Berlin hotel room. Oh, and that Syd knew her. But she didn't. But I don't care.

Then Syd says, "One thing about my fiancé...I was lucky to know him for as long as I did." Good Ethan swallows, smiles bittersweetly, and says, "Thank you." They share a little moment before Good Ethan walks off to write another trashy piece of middlebrow fiction. Syd looks after him, wondering if her dead fiancé is going to be looking down while she engages in a little spy-on-spy action in about three seconds.

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Alias

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