Alias
Endgame

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Ding Dong, Mrs. Dixon's Dead

One of Sloane's Minions of Doom happens upon Syd and Vaughn, and some serious ass-kicking ensues. Another Minion shows up, and Syd and Vaughn shower him with bullets. This isn't terribly bright on their parts, because as soon as the bullets fly, everyone in the building is notified that something's amiss. Back with Slater, Sark hears the shots and orders another Minion to check out the commotion. Then he glances at Slater, who obviously thinks that his goose? She is cooked. Instead, Sark just nabs the disk out of Slater's laptop and sort of sneers at him.

Elsewhere in the building, Vaughn's cornered by the third Minion. He orders Vaughn to drop his gun and raise his hands, which Vaughn quickly does. Syd, of course, shows up behind the Minion, and more joint ass-kicking ensues. Vaughn and Syd finally make it to Slater, and Syd asks him if Sloane or Irina are anywhere in the building. Slater's all, nuh-uh, but some blond dude just took off. Vaughn goes after Sark, and Sydney starts laying out some surgical tools.

Slater's all, what in the HELL kind of acid are YOU on, sister? At the same time, Vaughn chases after Sark. Chasing and chasing. Shooting and shooting. Back with Surgery Syd and Stubbly Slater, she tries to fill him in on his traitorous spy of a wife. Slater's all, oh, yeah, that? The spy thing? Yeah, I knew all about that. I'm NSA and I was recruited out of Caltech 'cuz I was a target and they knew I was gonna be approached by some skanky Russian spy bitch.

Just then, another guard enters, and Slater quickly shoots him dead with Syd's gun. Syd's totally flabbergasted. "I knew [Spy Wife] was a spy the day we met," he finishes. Syd's like, oh, okay, fine. Whatever. All I care about is that you have a cyanide tablet in your arm and we have to get it out, like, NOW. Slater's all, the whuh? With the whuh whuh? But she wouldn't do that! Syd's all, oh, sure -- SHE wouldn't, but her HANDLERS would! And she's a SPY, dude. She's capable of pretty much anything.

Once again, we're back with Vaughn and Sark and the chasing and the shooting. Vaughn heads up onto the rooftop in pursuit of Sark, but he's gone buh-bye. Back again with Syd 'n' Slater, Slater's all, when in the HELL did my wife implant this fucking thing in me? And did she do it during oral sex somehow? Because THAT would be cool. Syd's all, uh, it was right after you met, and NO it didn't happen during oral sex. Because EW! Syd finally gets to the surgical portion of the show, wherein she takes a fucking scalpel to Slater's forearm and digs around in his viscera with a pair of tweezers. It's sick and wrong and completely disgusting, not to mention totally unrealistic.

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Alias

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