Alias
Endgame

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Ding Dong, Mrs. Dixon's Dead

Cue the kickin' theme music! Yay!

Oops Center. Syd makes tracks over to her father and tells him that she has a lead on Sloane and Irina, but they have to move quickly. Jack's all, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your boyfriend told me aaaaallll about it. They bicker back and forth about Spy Wife and how she should be treated until finally Syd spits out that Spy Wife wants to help, and that the tracking chip she implanted in her husband's arm is activated by a code; if they can get their hands on a locating device, they can enter the code, find Slater, and remove the chip before it makes with the dead stuff.

Yeah. I don't know what's going on. But doesn't Jennifer Garner's hair look SO much better parted on the side? Pretty girl. Pretty pretty. Oooh. Pretty colors. My hair is shiny. Shiny like pennies. I have pretty hair. Pretty pretty. Huh? What's that, Owen? I'm drooling again? Well, don't just stand there! BRING ME A CASHMERE TOWEL, DAMMIT!

Spy Daddy's all, yeah, I got Marshall on that whole "reverse locator" problem or something. Syd's all, I already talked to Marshall and it's going to take that blabbermouth three days to do the whole "reverse locator" bullshit, which means that Slater will be dead by then. So, like, there's some dude who deals in SVR contraband and I'm gonna meet with him. Spy Daddy's all, over my dead body, little girl! And I'm not willing to risk your life on some questionable intel from some dirty Russian spy! Syd's like, "Why would she lie?" Jack's like, "That's precisely the question!" Syd's like, "But she turned herself in!" Jack's like, "She's not the first!" Syd's all, oh, for Christ's sweet sake! Not the whole "I see your mother in every dirty Russian lady spy I come across" thing again! Drop it already!

Syd sort of growls at her father that she realizes that they're discussing a Russian agent who betrayed her husband, but Spy Wife and Spy Mommy are NOT the same person. Victor Garber does this hilarious sideways glance down at the ground that totally clues us all in on how he doesn't want to let on that he was TOTALLY thinking Spy Wife and Spy Mommy WERE the same person. "[Spy Wife's] first instinct, her first thought, was for her husband's life," Syd hisses. "That's your assessment," snits Spy Daddy. "Oh, and neener neener. And neener." Syd's like, okay, look. If we find Slater, we find Sloane and Derevko. Isn't THAT something worth taking risks for? Jack's like, yeah, okay, whatever. We'll move on the dirty Russian spy's statement if, and only if, we can corroborate it. Syd's like, whoa. What happened to YOU? Since when did you start playing it safe, huh? You let my mom outta here 'cuz you thought she could lead us to Sloane. Spy Daddy's all, yeah, not too anxious to have a repeat performance of that, okay? "What if [Slater] dies?" she snaps. "Then he dies," clips Jack. Wow, dude. That's just. Wow. Is it chilly in here?

Mama Hari Lite's Den Of Delights. Syd approaches the glass outside Spy Mommy's former domicile. Spy Wife runs up to her and demands to know where her son is. Syd assures her that her son is fine. They chitter back and forth at each other as we slip outside and see Jack watching their interaction on a monitor at his desk. He gets on the phone and says, "This is Director Bristow. I want solitary confinement imposed on [Spy Wife] immediately. No unapproved visitors. Understand?" Hee. "Director Bristow." Damn. Victor Garber's hot. And, yes, I'm aware that he's old enough to be my father. I don't care. He's all sorts of smoldering right about now.

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Alias

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