Alias
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Episode Report Card
Erin: C+ | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Oh, if only this actually WERE The Office.

After the break, we catch up with Syd and Vaughn as they're exiting an elevator. Syd says something about how Griffin told the CIA that Danny Boy always does business with the Covenant at the Commodore Hotel in Moscow. "I still think it would be easier just to sic your father on him," quips Vaughn. Heh. Yes, Vaughn. Yes, it would. But then the rest of this episode wouldn't even happen, and we can't have that, now can we? Syd explains that they have a better chance of getting results from Danny Boy if they pretend that his display in Belfast convinced the Covenant to buy every weapon he can produce. Vaughn's all, yeah, but we're posing as the Covenant, and we're going on info from a guy who's, let's face it, hardly trustworthy. Syd's all, yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy defected, okay? That's good enough for me. Plus, if we don't trust him and we don't go through with this, then we'd be building this fake Commodore hotel room for nothing and the writers wouldn't get a chance to play another round of Let's See How Many Times We Can Stick In References To Mission: Impossible Before Tom Cruise and Brian DePalma Sue Us.

Syd and Vaughn enter the fake hotel room; Weiss is inside, directing the traffic. Syd asks him how it's going, and he grabs an apple from a guy with a fruit basket and quips that Griffin Dunne rejected the fruit basket because it would have cost a fortune. "Oh, and we need a ceiling," he says, looking up. The camera pulls up and back, and we see that the entire hotel room and hallway and even elevator are just an elaborate CIA-constructed set. Griffin's hanging out in the room as well, and he grabs the TV remote and checks the stations. Marshall informs him that he hacked into the Russian satellite feed, so the channels are all Russkie, all the time. Syd walks over and tells Griffin that everything is to spec, including the 700-thread-count sheets and Bikul-stocked mini bar. So, it's all kosher, unless of course Danny Boy wants to go for a walk, in which case, he can only go as far as the elevator. "Once he presses 'lobby,'" says Weiss, "we're made."

One of the walls slides up, and some CIA med techs roll Danny Boy in on a gurney. Syd tells the techs that they can start to wean him off the methohexital now. It's a quick-acting barbiturate, that methohexital. Google says so. Danny Boy's put on the bed, and Syd and the rest of the troops leave. A short while later, they're at Oops Center, watching Danny Boy on some monitors as he slowly starts to wake up. He sits up and looks around, confused. He rings the front desk and Jack answers in a truly hideous Russian accent. Danny Boy wants to know how he got to the hotel in the first place. Jack just tells him that he has a message from his attorney. Danny goes, "My attorney?" in a tone that suggests he's never had an attorney in his life. Vaughn shoots Griffin a look, and Griffin just responds that Danny refers to Androjnev as his "attorney," so stop looking at him like that because everything's chill, dude.

Jack goes on to tell Danny that his attorney apologizes for not being able to meet with him, but the colleague he's sending in his place is authorized to deal. Danny just looks around the room, totally confused, and not a little bit panicked. Man, Ricky Gervais plays panicky weasel really, really well. He paces and wanders and checks things out in the room and generally just mildly freaks out. Dix tells Syd she's up, and Syd and her two-toned red and black wig enter the "elevator." The doors slide open, and Syd adjusts her wig and her nose ring. It's a nice little moment that we don't often see on this show -- someone adjusting to her disguise. Kind of makes it a little more real and a little less perfect, which I sort of dug.

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Alias

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