Barbie Baby Penthouse Complete With Sad Elton John Music. Jack and Syd are putting together the crib. Well, Jack is putting together the crib while Syd supervises. "Okay, that's the headboard," says Jack tersely. "That's the footboard," says Syd from her chair. "Mmmm-hmm. That's what I said," says Jack. Hee. "Have you ever actually built anything before?" asks Syd. Well, no, Syd, but he's removed a bullet from Sloane's chest, so I think he'd be capable at building a fucking crib. "Yes," says Jack. "As a matter of fact, I built your crib." Syd's surprised. "Really?" Jack hedges. "Well, your mother and I did it together." Yes, Jack. Yes, you did. And nine months later, a baby came out. Isn't that special?
Jack picks up the baby mattress and flings it down into the crib, all, "See? I did it!" "Done!" Jack declares. "Done?" asks Syd, doubtfully. "Mmm-hm," says Jack. "Why? Did you doubt me?" "No," says Syd, obviously still doubting him. "Of course not." She stands up and grabs one end of the crib and they move it toward the nursery. That's right. They didn't actually BUILD the crib in the nursery itself. Because they're spies, right? And they can figure out how to disarm a nuclear missile in under five minutes and stop a big glowing red ball from destroying the world, but they can't figure out that the crib? IS BIGGER THAN A DOORWAY.
Jack backs up as Syd pushes the crib forward and only when the crib crashes into the doorframe do they realize that they can't actually just roll the crib into the nursery. Jack tries slamming the crib into the doorframe a couple of times, you know, just in case the CRIB is wrong or the DOORFRAME is working against him. He stops and looks at his daughter, who is totally giggling on the inside, where it counts. "Get me the screwdriver," he sterns at her. She nods and hides her inside giggle until she can get safely away and laugh her ass off at her father's ineptitude.
Next on Alias: Turkey Day! And Alias moves to Wednesday! And after that, SARK! No, I'm not joking. Sark is back, and he seduces Rachel. Oh, what fun we'll have