Alias
Firebomb

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Erin: C+ | Grade It Now!
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The roof. The roof. The roof is on fire!

Back from the break, Sarkie and Sloaney are enjoying a nice spot of tea with Fancy Fez as he watches a news account of the church happenings. Sark tells him that his ex is on the list of presumed dead. Fancy Fez signals for one of his dudes to bring something over. He hands Sloane a piece of carpet or something, and inside is the "asshat" that Sloane was dishing over earlier. Sark looks wholeheartedly confused about this recent development. Sloane tries to refuse it, but Fancy Fez insists. Oh, and then he gives him forty million as an added bonus.

Conference Room of Endless Expositions. Kendall blah blahs about Sark being in Mexico City at the time of the disaster and how he headed immediately to Sloane's side which, thanks to Mrs. Fez, they now know the location of. Spy Daddy's all, yeah, so Syd's going to lead a tactical unit into the place, parachute in, get roof access, diffuse the bomb, steal it, and then signal for backup. Syd's all, oh, sure. Anything else? You want me to pick up your fucking dry cleaning while we're at it? Oh, no problem! I'm only SAVING THE WORLD! She's all, they're calling it a doomsday device, you know? And they're saying something about the devil himself rising up to attack the church. The what? The devil, you say? Why, he is pure eeeevil. Marshall pipes up that he'd like to offer a scientific explanation, if they don't mind. Actually, I do mind. Because I don't really care about how the damn thing works. But I love Marshall so much that I'll watch the scene. Especially the part where he starts to compliment Kendall on his suit and Terry O'Quinn just gives this hilarious face and goes, "Okay." Like, any more words and he would have lost it completely.

Basically, the people who died had an internal body temp of over two thousand degrees. "They literally melted from the inside out," says Marshall. Syd's all, yeah, but, uh, nothing else in the church was destroyed. Blah blah blah, the weapon works like a microwave and, sorry, there's no shield against it. Thing can even take down planes, if that's what floats your boat.

After the meeting, Syd and Jack are walking along as he ruminates on why Sloane would pull a stunt like this, even if he knew that the CIA would almost certainly retaliate. Syd doesn't have an answer for him. They walk up to Agent Sean, and he tells them that the crew finished the clean sweep of Ovary Electric and found audio and video surveillance. Gulp. Syd's all, VIDEO? Sean's all, yeah, in the control panel of the TV in your bedroo-- oh, dude. DUDE! Now I know why you're making that face. Oh ho ho! Guess we're going to be enjoying a little amateur spy porn over in Conference Room D later today! Woo!

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Alias

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