Alias
Firebomb

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Erin: C+ | Grade It Now!
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The roof. The roof. The roof is on fire!

Dixon's House of Harassment, Part Deux. Now it's Vaughn's turn to beg for Dixon's help. Vaughn hurriedly fills Dix in on the Sydney situation. Dix is all, look, in case you haven't noticed, I hate you guys. Fuck. Off. Vaughn's all, but I LURVE HER! Dix is all, I lurve my wife too! But you don't see me carting my ass to Afghanistan to steal her from the jaws of death, do you? Vaughn's all, okay, this isn't about YOU. Help me get my girlfriend back! We've only had sex, like, one hundred times, and that is simply UNACCEPTABLE. Dix is all, one hundred times? In the past few weeks? Dude, I haven't had sex one hundred times in the past few YEARS. I'm married. Don't play the sex card, dude. Just DON'T.

Fancy Fez's Institute of Interrogation and Intimidation. A big ol' bright light flashes on and Syd's strapped to a chair, looking pretty, but haggard. Fez is demanding that Syd tell him she's CIA. Syd doesn't respond. We fade away, only to have the light flash back on, causing Syd to blink and gasp. Then we hear the unbelievable sound of Sloane, instructing Syd to tell Fez what he wants to hear. Syd looks as surprised as I feel as Sloane walks up and kneels down next to her.

"You know," he says, leaning closer to her, "in many ways, I consider you my proudest accomplishment." Ew. He states that there's nothing he can do about the Fez situation and then kisses her on the temple. Ew! If she weren't locked down, he would be SO dead right now. He whispers goodbye and leaves as we fade out again. The light flashes on again. Syd pants and looks around in a panic. Fez once again asks her to declare she's CIA, and has some rather torturous tools brought in as an incentive for her to talk. She just blinks at them.

The next time the light flashes on, Fez has finally had enough of Syd's silent treatment. He swans in and is about to slam a chisel or something into Syd's right knee when, suddenly, he's shot down. A man enters and runs over to Syd. It's Vaughn. "You okay?" he asks, releasing her from the straps. The look of relief and love and joy on Syd's face is absolutely priceless. She kind of touches his head and asks how he found his way in. The answer to her question enters just then. And Syd's expression of, "Oh. My. God. It's DIXON," and her consequent almost-sob may even be more priceless than the previous look.

Dix is all business, telling them to get a move on because they have the device. Vaughn helps Syd to her feet and asks if they got Sloane. Unfortunately, no. As they make their way through the building, Dix comes across a guard. Some serious ass-kicking ensues, and this time it's Carl Lumbley who gets to kick it. Hee. Dixon's back! Yay!

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Alias

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