Alias
Firebomb

Episode Report Card
Erin: C+ | Grade It Now!
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The roof. The roof. The roof is on fire!

Oops Center. Marshall frantically flips through some handy Book o' Safes and locates the model. Back and forth, blah blah blah, the safe will block the signal. Maybe. Kind of. We think. And then the CEO of Ford steps in and makes Vaughn tell Marshall that Syd's going to be in a Ford Fuckus, and Marshall pretends to care when he asks him what model it is, and Vaughn rolls his eyes into the back of his skull as he tells him, and could this BE any more product-placed, I wonder?

Vaughn hangs up on Marshall in mid-blabble and places the signal transmitter in the safe, closes the door, and voila! No more transmittal for Sarkie! Back with The Ford Fuckus of Freaky Father Figures, Vaughn tells Syd over her earpiece that the signal's shielded and the bomb can't detonate and not to tell Sloane about it because that would totally ruin the surprise. However, since Sarkie's actually doing his job, he sees that the signal's cut off and informs Sloane of this on his very own little earpiece. On to Plan B.

Syd, thinking she has the upper hand here, makes some not-so-thinly-veiled threats to Sloane about pumping him full of lead and not even needing a reason. For some reason, I totally think of that scene from Caddyshack where Bill Murray's all, "We can do that. We don't even need a reason." Hee. Bill Murray's funny. Hee hee. Yeah, it has nothing to do with this scene, but it's almost over anyway so who really gives a shit?

Sloane, knowing that he actually has the upper hand here, just flings open the door, prompting Syd to shout, "You jump you die!" Well, OBVIOUSLY, Syd. You're only going, like, top speed in that car. Which, considering that it's a Ford Fuckus, is probably about thirty-five miles per hour. Anyway, some black van screeches up, bangs the door off the Fuckus, and Sloane jumps into the van while some random bad guy keeps a gun trained on Syd. Why he doesn't just immediately shoot her is beyond me. I ask myself the same question when Sarkie leans out the door and fires off a scattered shot that hits, like, Syd's hood or something. Is it a RULE that no one can kill Syd? Or even TRY?

The piece of shit Fuckus spins out of control and Syd winds up at the side of the road, pissed beyond belief. She slams her hands on the steering wheel and, once again, I'm transported out of this episode and into Ferris Bueller's Day Off. "He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me 'til I come over. I'll go. I'll go. I'll go. I'll go. AAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!" Hee.

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Alias

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