Alias
Firebomb

Episode Report Card
Erin: C+ | Grade It Now!
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The roof. The roof. The roof is on fire!

Jack instructs Syd to make a list of every delivery man, mailman, radon inspector, and handyman with whom Syd might have slept and then walks off with the bug, stating that he's going to take it to analysis. What, so now Jack's been demoted to GOPHER? The hell? Seconds later, Jack's with Marshall, finding out that it was Marshall himself who made the bug. He points out his signature -- a Superman logo with an "M" instead of an "S." Hee. Jack just glares at him. Hee hee. Marshall reads Jack's glare loud and clear and gets down to business, informing Jack that he used to make the bug just for Sloane back in the SD-6 days and that it's undetectable by bug killers. Jack wants to know if the signal is traceable, and if it is, can they find the source of the receiver? Marshall seems to think so. "Then do it," barks Spy Daddy. "A 'please' would be nice," Marshall meeks. Spy Daddy lingers just long enough to shoot Marshall one of his looks, and then he bolts. Hee.

Satan Sloane's Silo of Secrecy. Dr. Eeeevil's looking at a big piece of parchment paper or something that has this huge shape cut out of it. Mini-Sloane enters and tells his boss that the Rambaldi device is complete and that the weapon works; he tested it himself. Sloane says nothing. So, in order to fill the dead space with words, Sarkie says something about their partnership and how Sloane was going to show him great things. "But a suitcase neutron bomb designed in the sixteenth century..." he says incredulously. "Is that even the remotest possibility?" Sloane just looks at some pictures in his hand and says nothing. At this point, having seen the rest of the episode already, I'm thinking that the pictures are of Dead Slater or something. Like, you know he's dead, right? What? Sloane and Sark are the kind of guys who just let people LEAVE after they've abducted them and put them to work making an ancient neutron bomb? I don't THINK so.

Kandahar. You know. Kandahar? As in AFGHANISTAN? Yeah. That one. We're on the discarded set of Young Indiana Jones or something (Sean Patrick Flanery? Still hot. Even after Powder, okay? Still. Hot.), and a truck pulls up with a linen-suited dude in the back. He has a hood over his head. Some guys with guns pull him out and escort him into a building.

Once inside, some guy in a fancy fez has his goons remove the hood and it's Sloane under there, looking rather mussed. Then Fancy Fez and Sloane take a seat and engage in a bizarre hand-washing ritual as they discuss business. Sloane says something about their mutual friend Dreyfuss and, yeah, I totally thought of Richard Dreyfuss. Damn, my mind is wandering...anyway, for whatever reason, the mention of Dreyfuss pisses off Fancy Fez and he gets all uppity with Sloane, saying that he doesn't do business with Americans. Sloane's all, yeah, well, I'm not really into the whole "for love or country" thing right about now so let's talk trash, okay? Sloane's hair seems to bristle as he says something about looking for partners to engage in changing the world order. Or something. And blah.

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Alias

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