Alias
Firebomb

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The roof. The roof. The roof is on fire!

Dixon's House of Harassment. Mrs. Dix takes one look at Syd, standing on the porch, and flat-out tells her that neither she nor Dix wants anything to do with her or the CIA. Syd's all, I appreciate that, but I basically can't do anything right and usually in situations like this, Dix saves my ass so, like, I was wondering if he could help me out of a bind here? Dix shows up, and the whole "get the fuck away from us" theme is repeated. Syd pleads with Dix for Fancy Fez's location and says that if Dix helps her, it could mean the end of Sloane. Considering that Dix no longer gives a shit about Sloane, Syd, Spy Daddy, and the rest of the liars, I really think she's barking up the wrong tree. But maybe that's just me. Oops. No. Dix agrees with me. Request? Denied. Door? Slammed.

Subbasement Of Dreams And Desires. Hey! Maybe it's time for a little on-site nookie -- oh, nope. It's not Syd that Vaughn's smiling at. It's Will. Will! Is that you? I hardly recognized you! Where ya been, buddy? What's that? You told the writers that if they wrote one more heartfelt confessional scene between you and Syd you'd start showing up to the set with a fire hose hooked up to vat of moose urine and every time they made you say, "Syd, you know I'm here for you," you'd douse the entire writing staff in liquid moose by-product? I feel you, buddy. I feel you. Glad you're back, though!

Vaughn's asking Will if he has a suit. Will's all, uh, one, I think. From my best friend's bar mitzvah. Hope it still fits. Why? Vaughn's all, yeah, well, you're not an agent, right? But your briefs are kickin'. And, yes, when Vaughn said "briefs," I headed directly to the gutter and thought of Bradley Cooper in his underwear. Right. Like YOU didn't.

Anyway, Vaughn wants Will to make an oral (hee!) presentation to Kendall. "Waitwaitwait," sputters Will. "An oral -- like in person?" Hee. Hee hee. I missed Will. Vaughn's all, dude? You can handle this. Will's all, uh, I'm a writer, dude. I don't talk, I write. Hee. I love these guys. Vaughn's all, it's your job, dude. Step up to the plate, okay? Then he asks if Will knows Sammy's Red Hots. Will's familiar with their all-beef koshers, yes. Vaughn tells Will to be there in an hour and to order the special, no pickles. "I like pickles," smiles Will. Tee hee hee. I'm getting that same giggly feeling I got when I watched the early Syd and Vaughn scenes. "I like pickles." HEE.

Vaughn continues to tell Will about his pickup, and Will finally goes, I'm going to be talking to the director, right? That's, like, a big deal, yeah? Vaughn's all, yeah. I can't BELIEVE I gave this guy a job. Will's all, holy shit. Hee! God, Bradley Cooper's a cutie. And I'm not just saying that because I want him to marry me and fill me with his little babies. Oh. Did I say that out loud? Shhh, Owen. Go write another brilliant yet accessible screenplay or something.

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