Alias
Firebomb

Episode Report Card
Erin: C+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
The roof. The roof. The roof is on fire!

Fancy Fez's Farm of Fine Furnishings. Sloane's admiring some piece of shit statue. It's a carving of an "arhat." Hee. That looks like "asshat," actually. That's much funnier than "arhat." According to Sloane's Buddhist-based definition, an "asshat" is the destroyer of one's enemies. It certainly is. Whatever. It's only important later, okay? Moving on. Sloane makes a really big deal about the statue and how important and fabulous it is. Fancy Fez is more interested in chatting about that whole "destroying the enemies" thing. Seems that if Sloane is offering up his abilities as an "asshat," Fancy Fez is going to need a little reassurance that he can deliver. Sloane's all, yeah, I know. So I'm going to perform a little demonstration for you. Any targets you might have in mind?

Oops Center. Vaughn enters with Will in tow. Vaughn's all, so, uh, where'd we go with the suit thing? You're still wearing that crappy corduroy jacket. "Well, it's been a while since I tried it on," says Will, mentally kicking Vaughn in the head, "or worked out, apparently. Which makes me overwhelmed and fat." Hee.

Vaughn introduces Will to a couple of stiffs from the Kennedy School. Will looks extremely uncomfortable. Vaughn leaves, and Will says, "The Kennedy School. Where is that?" One of the stiffs just looks down his nose at Will and sneers, "Haaaavaaaad." "That's right," says Will, looking after Vaughn wistfully. I can't tell if he's just fucking with the stiffs to make them think that the Kennedy School ain't all that, or if he really doesn't know about the Kennedy School. I mean, I didn't know what in the hell the Kennedy School was but, like, I'm not about to give a big-ass presentation to the director, now am I?

Conference Room of Endless Expositions. Stiff Number One blithers something about finding an enemy that will sell out Fancy Fez. Stiff Number Two suggests some turban-ed dude as that enemy. Will's all, nice try, Daphne. These dudes probably hate each other, sure, but they sure as hell hate the Americans more, you know? Again. Will? Cute as a button. Jack's all, okay, so you're not fond of the turban-ed dude being the enemy. Any other bright ideas, Sparky? Will's all, yeah, actually. How 'bout Fancy Fez's ex-wife? He puts on his glasses (swoon) and starts chittering on about Mrs. Fez and how she's now married to some dude with the Vatican Embassy in Mexico City. Then he mentions something about court records, and Vaughn's all, you found court records? Will's all, yeah, yeah. They're published on the 'net. Syd tries to hide her smile unsuccessfully. As Vaughn tries to hide his smile as well, Will says, "I realize that there's nothing geopolitically correct in my analysis, but in the 'hell hath no fury' department, I figure this woman would pay us to mess with her ex." Hee. Again. Some more.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16Next

Alias

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP