Episode Report Card
admin: C- | 1 USERS: B
Can I get mustard with that?

Meanwhile, Sloane's standing outside that Japanese pagoda thing that was used in The Usual Suspects. God. Can every country be reasonably duplicated in or around Los Angeles? That's just…wow. I wouldn't need a passport anymore if I lived in L.A. I could just hop in a car and go to Japan or Prague or Chechnya…So, anyway, Sloane's hanging at the pagoda. A car drives up. Sark and Moronen get out. Sark's carrying a briefcase. Sloane's all, uh, I don't remember calling you guys. The hell? "Nice to see you too, Arvin," says Moronen, clearly enjoying being out of the bonds of good-girl-hair hell. Her hair has never looked better. It's all wavy and soft. Never looked like that when she was pretending to be the dutiful wife, did it?

Sloane's not really into the soft-wave look, however, and clearly states that the two of them being here is totally unacceptable. Sark's all, yeah, because I care, dude. We have three canisters of Green Goo™ here. They're yours. In exchange for a little partnership action. Sloane's all, yeah, tell it to someone who gives a shit, you über-twit. Sark's all, hey, man, we have the goo, you have the girl. Whaddya say we share? For old time's sake? Sloane wants to know the terms. Moronen tells him they brought one canister of Green Goo™ with them; once they see that Sloane really does have Nadia, the rest of the canisters will be delivered. Sark pipes up that, of course, they'll need a demonstration first; they'll need to see that the Green Goo™ actually works before they deliver the rest. "I see," is all Sloane says, looking off into the distance for an answer as to why ABC has clearly messed with what used to be a totally kick-ass show.

Marshall's Garage of Geekiness. Vaughn and Syd have obviously brought back their sample of Green Goo™, and Marshall's had a chance to analyze it. And, um, what it contains, as far as he's concerned, is, um, a stored memory. A muscle memory. The Green Goo™ they brought back from Russia contains protein strains that, when injected, could trigger an individual to execute a prerecorded series of non-cognitive actions like touch-typing or playing a musical instrument or…"Drawing," says Sydney, watching a video of her sister playing on one of the computer screens. "How dangerous is that process?" asks Dix, wondering why his character has been reduced to The Guy Who Asks Questions That Further The Plot. Marshall just answers that the result of so much protein being entered into the system could result in brain damage or, yeah, death. We get a shot of poor little Nadia, not enjoying her time as Rambaldi's Secretary.

Dix wants to know if Marshall's been able to identify the doctor who was administering the Green Goo™ application while Nadia was a child. Syd asks how the voice print analysis panned out. "Not great," says Marshall, "but I'll run it again, if you want." And on the computer screen, we see little Nadia get shot full of Green Goo™ and her body reacting, and quickly switch to Adult Nadia being shot full of Green Goo™ and her body reacting. Sloane, after having injected her, steps back, as Nadia's whole body begins convulsing. Her eyes roll, her body shakes, she looks…not well. And her father puts the pen in her hand. Her hand adjusts to it easily and moves into place to start writing down Rambaldi's message. Sloane moves away, and we see Sark and Moronen in the background. Nadia, eyes rolling into the back of her head, starts writing on the provided paper. "Incredible," declares Sark. Yeah. It's real incredible that Nadia's writing in hieroglyphs on a piece of parchment. I mean, it's not like she's growing scales and a tail and suddenly can walk on the ceiling or anything. She just shakes a bit and then writes some shit. What's "incredible" about that?

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