Uncle Arvin's House Of Hidden Truths And Sick Spouses. Uncle Arvin tells Sydney that she's been avoiding him. Sydney blah-blahs about her mother being alive and how she wants Uncle Arvin to help her find Spy Mommy. Uncle Arvin pours them a couple of glasses of what is either water or chilled Grey Goose. Speaking of Grey Goose…

Okay, uh, so Uncle Arvin sort of blah-blahs about how Spy Daddy spent six months in seclusion at a federal prison because he was suspected of being in cahoots with Spy Mommy. This is news to Sydney, but then, isn't everything? Spy Daddy got out of prison and started drinking heavily. Because of Spy Daddy's behavior, Uncle Arvin was under direct orders not to let him know that Spy Mommy was alive and well and enjoying big bowls of borscht. Unfortunately, this also meant that Uncle Arvin had to lie to Sydney as well.

Syd sets down her Grey Goose and informs Uncle Arvin that she's removing herself from active duty at SD-6 and devoting herself to the Mommy Quest. Uncle Arvin's not having any of it. Syd spits out that it's time that SD-6 took a risk on her behalf instead of the other way around. Uncle Arvin moves over and sits down next to Sydney. Ew. I mean, he's not doing anything gross, but still: EW. "A daughter has a right to know her mother," he says. Again, EW. God, he's creepy. No, that doesn't mean I don't still think he's kinda hot. But then, I have a history for being attracted to inappropriate men, so there ya go. "I hope you find her," he finishes. Jesus, so do I. I'm about ready to go out and search for that Russian bitch myself, I'm so anxious for this dumb-ass storyline to end.

Center For Weepy Guitar Solos And Storylines That Don't Matter. Willage Idiot and Francie are in the kitchen, preparing to make pancakes. Willage wants chocolate chips in the pancakes. Francie doesn't. I pick up one of the multicolored pencils that I recently stole from my freelance job, sharpen it to a needle point, shove it directly up my nose, spin it around a bit, and render myself lobotomized enough to endure the rest of this scene.