Syd tells No!Augh! that she never got a letter. No!Augh! reminds her that he was deep undercover and couldn't have possibly sent her an actual letter. So he sent her a message in a junk email. "You shoulda been able to pick it up from the subject line," he spits. Literally. Syd informs him that she has set her email system up so that it immediately trashes all "junk emails." I do that too. Only, I still get junk emails. Every day. With headers like "Misty Mandy Sux Cox" and "Tired of Being in Debt?" Never, not once, have I ever received a junk email from a former spy asking me to meet him in San Pedro. Then again, never, not once, have I ever received ANY KIND OF EMAIL from ANYONE I'VE EVER LOVED asking me to MEET THEM ANYWHERE. Junk or otherwise.
Back in Hell-Lay, Sloane's bitching at Syd and Dix about how they extracted Buckaroo Bucktooth from his assignment in an untimely fashion. Syd's all, uh, dingleberry? We didn't really have a choice, now, did we? Bucky tries to get her back by jumping to her defense and then busting Sloane's balls. Oh, he SO wants to play with Sydney's lacy things. Sloane tells him to stop trying to make every effort to do Sydney right there on his desk and shut the fuck up. "I'll listen to your report after you've been evaluated by Security Section," snaps Sloane. He orders Dix to escort Bucky to security and turns to Sydney.
"Now I have done you a favor, Sydney," says Sloane. "So, should the need ever arise, I'm sure I can count on you to return it." Sydney just stares at Sloane like he's covered in red scales and brandishing a pitchfork -- which, let's face it, wouldn't be all that surprising.
Down in Security Section, Bucky's being given the third degree, complete with nerve sensors and lie detection. He gives his spy résumé to some crusty old foreign guy. Bucky's all cocky and shit, and it's kind of apparent that he's totally full of himself and may very well be a triple- or quadruple-super-secret spy. Crusty Man asks Bucky why he agreed to be put into deep undercover, essentially cutting himself off from his whole life. At first, Bucky refuses to answer, but since this is Alias and not Gorky Park, he finally 'fesses up and states that he did it because he was in love and had refused to allow himself to deal with it.
Of course, Spy Barbie's watching all this from behind The Mirror That Has No Faces. Crusty Man wants to know just who this "love interest" was. Since what he does with his man-meat is essentially none of Crusty's goddamn business, Bucky tells him to keep the questions to relevant topics and get his masturbation material from Penthouse Forum like everyone else. "Besides," he finishes, "where I come from, a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell." Instead of waking up and smelling the steaming pile of cow dung, Sydney smiles at this and instantly starts to picture Bucky naked and holding a bowl of chocolate-covered strawberries.