Episode Report Card
Erin: A | 1 USERS: B+
Papa, can you hear me? No, seriously. PAPA?

Hospital Room of Daddies Who CANNOT and WILL NOT Die. Jack's fitfully sleeping as Syd watches over him. He looks so sad and small in the bed. Well, Victor Garber's arms look good, so I guess things aren't that bad. Syd leans over and says, "Dad? Dad? Can you hear me?" Victor Garber does the most amazing stuff in this scene, y'all. I can't believe it. At the sound of his daughter's voice, Jack kind of jerkily swivels his head around to meet her, and he seriously looks like an infant just learning to hold its head up. "Ohhh," he says, looking all kinds of broken. "Hello." "Hi," Syd says back, smiling. "What're you doing -- why am I --" he says, looking around in an erratic panic. "I need to ask you --" says Sydney before Jack cuts her off. "Oh, no. It was my turn to pick up Sydney after dance class," he says, blinking rapidly. "I'm sorry. Can you -- can you take care of that? I'll cover next time, Laura. Promise." Syd's expression has gone from one of relief to one of utter surprise. "Laura?" she says with concern. Jack just looks confused. "I don't -- I don't know why I'm so tired, sweetheart," he says. "So tired…" He falls back onto the pillow and Syd's face is like, HE THINKS I'M MY MOTHER?

Meanwhile, back at the Barbie Penthouse, Agent Sean's easily distracted from thinking how eeeeevil Auntie Elena is because there is food in front of him. We have to endure approximately two minutes of "Oh my god this is the best food ever!" and "Oh, it's nothing. I just whipped it up in a few minutes!" and "No, really, IT'S THE BEST!" before we can get on with the task at hand. Which is, basically, keeping Nadia out of her bedroom until Nerdy can finish copying her files. This is easy to do until Nadia's damn cell phone rings and she has to go get it. Elena tries to keep her in the room for as long as possible, but she can only bluff so long, and, finally, Nadia goes into her room. From beneath the table, Elena pulls up her purse and pulls out a gun, getting ready to shoot both her niece and Weiss if Nerdy's discovered. It's supposed to be a tension-filled moment as Nadia disappears and Elena readies her gun, but since we know that pretty much everyone lives through the end of this season, the tension feels kind of hollow. So, yeah, Nadia goes into the room and comes out and nothing happens. Other than that Weiss blabbles on and on about the food and Nadia says it was Vaughn on the phone and this is a convenient segue into the next scene.

Sloane and Syd are discussing Jack's condition. Sloane thinks he's too far gone. Oh, so says the man who only two episodes ago was covered in blood and staring, unblinking, at a big red ball. I think you should let US be the judge of who's too far gone around here, Captain Crackers. Sloane says that Jack's mental state may not allow him to remember where Liddell was hidden. Syd thinks they should hypnotize him, but Sloane thinks that won't work. That's when Syd drops the "Laura" bomb. Sloane's all, the huh? He called you "Laura"? He thinks you're his wife? Ohhhh, dude. That is too good! Sloane points out that Jack called her by the name he knew Irina as before she was discovered to be a spy. This means that Jack thinks he's back about twenty-some-odd years ago. Sloane has an idea. "Suppose we convince your father that he's still living in 1981," he says. "Specifically, the day he extracted Liddell out of Russia." Sloane thinks that, if they recreate his surroundings, they can guide his delusions, and get him to reveal exactly where he hid Liddell. Syd gets this look on her face. "You want me to be my mother?" "That's right," says Sloane, with a hint of lasciviousness. Seriously. He's lapping it up.

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