Alias
Nightingale

Episode Report Card
Erin: A | 2 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
A Nightingale Sang In Siberia Square

Munich. Ahhhh. Beer. We're in one of those traditional beerhauses that I can only hope actually exist in Germany. Everyone's drinking big steins of beer and "ya, ya"-ing each other. Vaughn and Syd are at a booth, pretending to enjoy their beer while really doing some recon on Dietrich. He's at the back of the place with a group of his bodyguards. Syd comments that this'll be fun, seeing as they have no toys from Marshall and cell phones instead of comms. Vaughn's all, yeah! It'll be loads of laughs! And all we have to do is get Dietrich alone and convince him to show us his Nightingale files. Piece o' cake. Just then, Syd catches a glimpse of Dietrich manhandling one of the waitresses. "I can get him alone," says Syd with confidence. Heh. Vaughn smirks at her. Heh heh.

Syd heads off to the waitress locker room or whatever and starts searching for one of the Heidi-esque costumes. Yeah, I know Heidi is set in Switzerland, okay? Don't write me emails all, "Those waitress uniforms weren't Swiss, they were German because blah blah blahzzzzzzz." They look like dirndls and lederhosen or whatever, and calling them Heidi-esque is more evocative of what they are than saying, "Fake German Barmaid Costumes," okay? Shhhh. Syd's about to kick some ass. She attempts to get into some lockers but is stopped by a pretty waitress in the doorway who wants to know if Syd needs some help. Syd quickly falls into German and tells the waitress that she's new here and needs a uniform. The waitress is all, are you Klaus's cousin? Syd's all, hell yeah! The waitress is all, WHAM! Heh. She slaps Syd and says she thinks there's something Syd has to say to her. Syd puts a hand to her mouth and looks at the girl like, YOU BET YER ASS THERE'S SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO SAY TO YOU.

We switch back to Vaughn, who's watching Dietrich. He calls Syd and tells her that Dietrich's just gotten the bill, so he's getting ready to leave. Syd better hurry up. Seeing as Syd's already knocked out the waitress, removed her blonde wig, and is now fully dressed in a waitress costume, I'd say Syd's doing her fair share of hurrying. Back with Dietrich, he signs the check and hands over the bill. That's when Syd makes her way through the place in her waitress outfit and plonks a big-ass stein full of beer down in front of Dietrich. Vaughn watches with admiration. Dietrich says they've already paid, so what's with the beer? Syd's all, yeah, that's from me. Wanna go fool around? Dietrich's all, HELL YEAH. They go off as Vaughn's cell phone rings. It's Weiss. He's all, dude. Whassup? Quick question. Vaughn's all, dude? REALLY BAD TIME. Weiss is all, where are you? A party? Can I come? Vaughn's all, GO PLAY WITH YOUR HOT GIRLFRIEND. I'll call you later. GOD. "Romantic getaway's going that good, huh?" asks Weiss. Not with you CALLING every five minutes, YOU GEEK. Vaughn just dryly says, "Braids, fishnets, it's pretty spectacular." Hee. "Somebody's getting lucky tonight," muses Weiss. Dude? You could be getting lucky too if you stopped calling your BOYFRIEND and started paying a little more attention to your GIRLFRIEND. Lord. Hottest chick in the world right there next to him and all he wants to do is call his buddy. Dude's NEVER getting laid, I tell you.

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Alias

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