No Hard Feelings

Episode Report Card
Erin: B- | 1 USERS: C+
A rose by any other name, would look like a creepy old guy.

Sydney says that she's sure their superiors are eager to get their hands on the chip and Peyton just says, "This? This is an inconvenience. Nothing more." Then she drops the chip into her champagne glass, not only ruining the chip and the tracker, but also a PERFECTLY GOOD glass of champagne. Also? They had to send Anna on a trip to Nepalhutan or Bhutanepal or whatever, just to get the damn chip because it was so important but now it's an INCONVENIENCE? Man. The writers are totally getting stoned in the writers room now, aren't they? "Dude. Wasn't it Bhutan last week?" "Dunno, dude. Pass the bong." "Shouldn't the chip be...important?" "Homie? I stopped caring about what was going on shortly after that one car slammed into that other car. Where's the snacks?"

Back at the Apple Store, Syd's signal is lost and everyone scrambles. Vaughn gets all climpy with Marshall, ordering him to patch into the traffic cameras so they can locate Syd. He races to his car to chase after the mother of his baby. Marshall patches into the cameras and locates Syd en route to the airport. Vaughn chases. He comes upon an intersection that's at a red light and demands that Marshall get him a green light, like, NOW. Marshall frantically tries to deliver and seconds before Vaughn causes a traffic accident, he gets it for him, allowing Vaughn to sail through. At the airport, Syd and Peyton are making their way to security. Vaughn shows up a short distance behind them. Peyton goes through as Syd turns around and sees Vaughn. While Peyton's getting the wand, Vaughn slips behind Sydney and passes her his phone, which obviously has a tracker as well. Peyton turns and Vaughn's disappeared. Syd drops the cell into a bucket and heads through security. Whew.

Zurich. Sloane's meeting with one of the more square-jawed members of the P5 crew. Sloane has finished the translation of Page 47, which he already knew about, like, ages ago. "The circle will be complete when the Chosen One finds the rose in San Cielo," says Sloane, revealing the hidden message. Well, that's...not revealing at all and totally in keeping with the rest of the stupid-ass Rambaldi crap we've had to swallow for the BETTER PART OF FIVE YEARS. Spongehead Squarejaw congratulates Sloane on a job well done and says that they're closer than they've ever been to comprehending Rambaldi's Greatest Mystery™. I certainly hope that Rambaldi's Greatest Mystery™ comes with a corsage and a set of Ginsu knives because otherwise? I'm going to feel really gypped.

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